Remembering how kind you were, and now, it’s my turn, to show you the same kindness you took, to raising me up, on reciprocation of love of his mother by showing his filial piety toward her now, translated…
There was that look of panic from my mother’s eyes, she’d mumbled that she was sorry, I’d gone toward her, took her hands, walked with her toward my car………
My mother had stayed in the countryside of Chiayi, gladly, with my eldest brother close by to look after her, working up in the north, I’d only had the time of the summer and winter vacations, to go home, to show my filial piety toward her.
Seeing how frail and aged my mother became, I’d felt that scent of regret and shame too. My father died when I was in the second year of middle school, my mother pulled herself through it with her own strong will, and in exchange for supporting my eldest brother and me, she’d, given her youth up. I really have no idea, where my mother, who’s illiterate found the courage and persistence, and was able, to swallow all those bitterness, all those trials down inside. She’d never allowed us to be uncared for, never starved us, always made sure we had warm clothes on our backs, she’s always been very frugal, with just those rough cloth shirts, and, traded in her youthfulness with her early to rise to work, late to return back home again.
These past couple of years, she’d aged very quickly, and became less mobile, and she’d become, incontinent too, which troubled her so. Even as I’d prepared the adult diapers for her, she wasn’t willing to waste them, said she could control her bodily functions, and we’d often, argued on it, but she’d remained, stubborn as she always had been. Last year, she’d injured her lumbar spinal column and went to Taipei to get treated, she had no choice, but to start wearing the adult diapers, and, we seemed to have found a way to agree upon something; but as she got better, she’d said that living in Taipei was boring, and returned back home to live on her own, and, as she got out of my sight, she’d started back on her frugal measures again.
Awhile ago, I got a new car and took the advantage to drive back home on the holidays, I took my mother to the nearby sugar plant to visit, with her granddaughter there, she’d smiled more. Not long after we’d arrived, she’d told me she’d needed to go to the restrooms, and refused me to go with her, and so, I can only let her have it her way; but, for about ten minutes or so, I still hadn’t seen her out yet, I’d walked toward the direction of the public restrooms, and, from farther away, I saw her squatted down, outside the restroom doors, and as I approached, I caught her panicky looks. Before I spoke, she’d started apologizing, I’d found that she’d wetted herself, and, I’d helped her stand back up.
“Let’s go home now.” after she’d heard me speak, her steps became, hesitant, I’d not said anything more, just took her hand in mine, walked toward the car. The moment I’d opened the car door for her, she’d stuttered, said, “I will dirty your car, I’ll put some newspaper down to sit on.” I’d not stopped putting her into my car, and said to her, “Mom, you’re more important.”
And, just like this, I mother, passed through that industrial road, with the sun through the trees, recalled how my mother told me of something in the past: a long, long time ago, my mother worked as an operator of the sugar plant, and had often mown the lawn on this passage, and I’d just, lain there, beneath the shades of the coconut trees, and, as I woke out of hunger I’d started to cry, and she’d come and check on me, and her gentle voice would once again, rock me back to dreams; and I, in my own dreams, started, weaving the dreams of my childhood years, waited for my mother to get off work.
The times passed by so quickly, the coconut trees got so tall now, and, suddenly, turned my mother, as well as all those years, into the tears circling in my eyes now.
So, this, is recalling how hard your mother worked, to provide for you when you were little, and now, you’re repaying her for raising you up, through the hardships of all her years, by being patient with her, allowing her, to take her time slowly, to help her age more gracefully.