My Mother’s Dementia Made Her Forget All the Awful Things, Turned Her into a “Joker”

This would be, the unexpected positive from someone’s dementia, I suppose…from the papers, translated…

After my mother became demented, she’d not changed her optimistic nature, her easygoing nature, she’d still carried that “Joker” personality, without any calculating ways, bringing joys, wherever she went.

The classic symptoms of dementia, getting angered for no reasons at all, being suspicious, to violence, none of it was apparent on her, our family called her an “abnormal kind of dementia”; my mother’s intelligence was on the decline, she’d behaved herself, and is usually quiet, returned back to her childhood innocence, thanks to heavens, she’d contracted “the worries forgot syndrome” now, she’d not known any worries, not felt any stresses.

One day, she was focused on the patterns on my t-shirt, after I got inspired, I’d decided, to entertain her, the colorful shirt was enough, to capture her attention, to please her; and from time to time, I’d, become the stand-in, asked her about what she still remembered, or what she was good at, to increase her self-confidence, to make her feel she mattered.

My mother was a fan of Fei Yu-Ching, when she was first diagnosed, the family bought her front row seats to his concert, and took her into the masses, to hear her idol perform, and every evening after supper, we’d put on the DVD’s, and, when she got into it, she’d, hummed along with the songs being performed.

My mother loved playing mahjong, but after she was diagnosed, she could no longer play, and every Sunday, members of our family would accompany her to play a few rounds.  With the irreparable conditions of her deterioration, she, who was a killer on the gambling tables, slowly lost her intelligence, and, this frequent winner had gotten fake wins more often, getting together with her, helping her mind stay active, do what she liked, what she was good at, it’s not about winning or losing, the house is still filled with a lot of laughter.

We’d parted ways now, although we were all, very unwilling, to see her go, she’d been gone for a little over six months now, remembering the years I’d spent, accompanying by, caring for her, I’d never been trapped in the depressed moods of caretaking, I was, infected by her optimism, whether it be at home or in the hospital, we’d worked hard, to make a happy atmosphere for her, cherishing, taking advantage of each and every day we have with her.

I hope, that as my mother went to heaven, she’d become, an angel, full of joy like she had always been on earth.

So, looking back through the years, of caring for your demented mother, although there are moments which were trying but you’d still, remembered the positive things about your mother more, and that, is a great way, to honor her memories, and, with this positive energy, you will be able to cope better in the futures to come too.