“no, I don’t want to take my meds!”
From the Caretakers’ Manual for the Demented Elderly, tips, translated…
“Home is a place for love, not for reasoning”, I think, this line is most fitting, in taking care of demented elderly in one’s home, with love and company, we can then, empathize with the elderly’s wayward behaviors.
My father-in-law had a blockage in his blood vessels, to being severely demented, for almost a decade now, at first, he’d had a miscognition of schedules, in the mornings, when the whole family sat down for breakfasts, he’d urged us all, to go back to bed. Then, it was the mix-ups in the spaces and times, one day as my son came home from work, he’d asked him, “Did you tie up the cows in the pens?”, the family stopped farming for over a decade already.
One time, my son told me, “the neighbors said that grandpa is acting crazy, it’d made me feel so awful, I’d told him, ‘my grandpa is just ill now, he’s not crazy!’”, I was so moved, and told my son: dementia is not being in control of your own mind, that through treatments, and caretaking, the conditions can be controlled.
My son heard me, when my father-in-law got angry over bath (as he believed he’d already bathed), my son sang and danced the bath song for him, mmmmmmmmm! My father-in-law was happy, and was willing to take his baths; when he insisted that he was still a farmer, wanted to put on his rainboots, to go to the fields to look around, my daughter would also, put on her tiny rainboots, took him for a stroll in the fields, he’d felt satisfied, and became calmer.
From time to time, as my father-in-law was watching television, he’d often started, “I want to go home!”, my son and daughter would act like monkeys, crowed like roosters, made him laugh.“no I will NOT!”, not my photograph…
Although my father-in-law’s dementia had impacted us hard, but, as the younger generations understood what he was going through, they were able to, do everything for him, from the considerations of love.
So, love, tolerance AND patience is absolutely NECESSARY, in dealing with these situations in life, because as an elderly progressed in dementia, s/he will become more and more childlike and become totally unreasonable, and, at this time, if you try to reason with her/him, it’ll only make it difficult on you, so instead, use love, to try to empathize with them, to help them divert their attention away from what’s troubling them, and, even though this is just a temporary solution, but it works!