Wisdoms, gained, from experiencing life, translated…
Is, learning to give up, my “assignment” right now?
I’d, come to my forty-second year of life, since I’d fallen seriously ill, had an operation, I’d, learned to give up; giving up on having children, giving up that job that’s, too stressful on my health, giving up using my favorite makeup from the past, everything became, reduced, to simplicity now.
life, with its various ups and downs, twists, and turns too, not my photo…
In the process of being in-between jobs, I was, recuperating, and traveling around, I’d met a store clerk. She’s past fifty, her husband and daughter died in an accident, she’s all alone. In recent years, she’d lost two of her siblings out of five, and sometimes, it’d made her believed, that life, is a series of subtraction.
Even so, she’d told me, that being happy is the most important thing in life, that we must cherish what’s around us, living in the now, and to stop worrying about the futures. And now, she would head to work happy, and gotten involved in the various hiking activities on the weekends, learning new things, and she’d let these things that made her happy fill her up.
And maybe I should, thank this serious illness of mine, as everything that happened in our lives, may be, the best sort of arrangement for us. Turns out, the makeup I’d loved using wasn’t the least bit environmentally-friendly, I’d not eaten healthy either. Turns out, I’d forced myself to work hard, but never felt happy at all; even as I’d spoken to my boss, and there wasn’t anything done by him, and now, my body is, protesting, and I’d had to, quit my job.
And, on the subject of having children, I’d not put everything in, for a decade, I’d only started taking the ovulating meds and the progesterone, but because of the serious side effects, I’d, given that up. And now, because of this illness, I can’t have children anymore.
Coming up to midlife, passed through a ton of colorful work experiences, actually, I’d felt, quite fulfilled on the inside. And maybe, I don’t have children, I’m, without a job, and I don’t have a clue where the future might lead, and, maybe, I would need to, struggle with this illness until I hit menopause; I’d told myself lightly, it’s okay, it’s time, to take a break, you can’t force a lot of the things in life. Now, being alive and happy, that, is the most important task for me!
and yet, you’re, still, asleep??? Not my photo.
So, this, is the understanding you come to, in life, after being stubborn in everything from before, getting nowhere, you’d, finally become, mature enough, learned, to stop trying to control life, and just, allowed everything to come as it should, and this sort of a mindset can only come to someone who’d, experienced through the trials of your life!