Because this, is the YOUNGER generation’s choice in childrearing, and you, OLDER generations should just, BACK off and LET us raise our own young our ways, after all, you’d, already YOU’RE YOUR chances, with your own sons and daughter’s already, stop meddling, translated…
My neighbor, Mrs. Chen’s daughter-in-law when she was pregnant, told her, that she could help out with caring for the grandchild, but her granddaughter turned her offer down; reason being, that the elders are aging, and there are many traditional values that they’d carried, that it will detach the younger generations from the times, and after her child was born, she’d gone to find a middle aged nanny to help. And so, Mrs. Chen went to take the government sponsored course of “Professional Nanny Training”, hoping that her daughter-in-law can feel at ease, allowing her to look after her grandson.
this??? Not my photo…
But, as Mrs. Chen went through over a hundred-hours’ worth of coursework, and readied herself to take the certification and passed it, she was ready, to take on the responsibilities of looking after her own young grandchild, at this time, her daughter-in-law took her just-turned-one grandson into the nursing center in the community. The reason that her daughter-in-law came up with this time was, “Grandma can easily spoil the young grandchild”. Her decision had made Mrs. Chen disappointed and upset, but she’d still respected her son and her daughter-in-law, and not fought anymore, for taking care of her own young grandson.
As Mrs. Chen poured her heart out to us, we’d all felt unfair for her, and started ranting on how the younger generation didn’t know the hearts of their elders, and couldn’t understand why her daughter-in-law was so insistent, why would she rather PAY an outsider to care for her young, than to allow her mother-in-law to help out? Besides, Mrs. Chen stated that she was willing to help out voluntarily, that her son and daughter-in-law didn’t need to pay her anything.
or this??? Not my photo still…
Mrs. Huang from next door, had a unique perspective, said she was very glad for Mrs. Chen’s sake, “It’s for the best, you can live your elderly years with ease now, besides, isn’t there a saying of how ‘as the grandkids come home on the weekends, it’s great, but as the weekends are over, and they’re sent home, it’s, even better?’”
I’m thinking, that Mrs. Chen’s reasons for wanting to look after her own grandchild other than the fact that she would be ill-at-ease, leaving her grandchild in the hands of someone she didn’t know, she’d wanted to, help her son and daughter-in-law save up some money. And, Mrs. Chen’s daughter-in-law’s insistence, maybe, she’s worried that the cross-generation childrearing would spark up the feeling of how the elders would spoil their grandchildren, and it may be out of the thoughts of filial piety too, taking into considerations, that the elders have limited amount of energy, and not wanted her mother-in-law to get too tired, after all, taking care of a child, is mentally and physically straining!
After Mrs. Chen heard out opinions on both sides, her originally frown became more relaxed, she’d stopped stressing over the matter. The elders all wanted to play and raise their own young grandchildren, but, if the children insisted on allowing someone else outside the family to look after their young, maybe, they have, different considerations, learning to be open, to not be so stubborn in thought, and just let things come, is what makes a grandmother happy every single day.
So, this, is happening more so than you think, because as modern moms all start working, they’d rather leave their young children in the care of nannies, nursing centers, daycare programs, because they have the considerations of how the children in the care of the grandparents may get spoiled rotten, and the fact, that it’s THEIR own young, and therefore, these younger generations of mothers should be the ones, making the calls, on what they believe would be the RIGHT measures to raise their OWN young, as for the mothers-in-law out there, you already HAD your chances, so, STOP meddling into our (younger generations of women???) methods of raising OUR own young!