The Meaning of Dowry

After so many case of wedding going BUST, because the families couldn’t agree on the matter of dowry, this, is one parent’s understanding of the matter, translated…

As a relative is about to marry, the woman’s family demanded a million dollars in dowry, reason being, that they don’t have a son, and needed to save up the money for their elderly years.  We’d believed, that so long as they’re able to, then, my relative should agree, and, some of the parents who’d asked for dowries upon marrying their daughters off, the money actually goes to the daughters.

My friend asked, “How much did you accept from before when you’d married off your daughters?”, I’d recalled how my in-laws came to settle the marriage, I’d told the younger generations, “marriage is a matter of for life, you two need to think it through, we have nothing but the best wishes and blessings for you, we don’t’ want any dowry payments for our daughters, and, we give no dowries for our daughters either.”

Both sides agreed to this quickly, the engagement affairs were left to the woman’s side to handle, and, the ceremony left to the man’s, we’d hosted a banquet together, took in the money for those who’d attended separately; on that day, we were, all too busy, after the banquet, we’d gone home first, the in-law went to settle the check for the meals, and the next day, I’d, split up the check with them.

As my youngest sister’s son married, her in-law was more traditional, they’d needed to have an engagement at the shrine at the home, letting the ancestors know; the smaller dowries are $100,000N.T.s, used as the spending for the weddings, and the bigger dowries of $300,000N.T. are used for show, which will get returned.  But, taking so much cash with us, it’s, quite, unsettling, and in the end, both sides had agreed, to use the red envelopes, just write down the amount, and that, was settled.quantifying love here…picture from online…

Back when I got married, the $100,000N.T.’s dowry was for show too, and, the elders gave it back to us, as our fund for the house.  Shortly after we married, we’d put the down payment of $800,000N.T. for the model homes in the suburbs, and three years later, we’d, set up our own small comfortable home.

I’d once heard of an example, that both sides of the parents couldn’t agree on the issues regarding the dowry, the banquet, the marriage fell through, but later, the woman got pregnant, and, the two of them can only register for marriage in front of a notary public, and, they felt regrettable, that they didn’t have their parents’ blessings for the marriage.

What is the meaning of dowry?  There are more and more of the younger generations who got married and didn’t want children, if the children are lucky enough to be married, then, give them more blessings, less calculation, so they can get married happy, it’s more important, that the bride and groom get along well.

like this, another, tragedy of L-O-V-E, picture from online…

So, because a lot of the families couldn’t agree on the dowry payments, a lot of the times, what was originally, a celebration, turned into something else, leaving the in-laws feeling uneasy, and that, is no way, to start a family, so, do consider from your kids’ perspectives, they are, in love, and, money is not as important as how the younger generations are willing to, work hard, work together, to make the love they share grow…


About taurusingemini

All I have to say, I've already said it, and, let's just say, that I'm someone who's ENDURED through a TON of losses in my life, and I still made it to the very top of MY game here, TADA!!!
This entry was posted in Beliefs, Experiences of Life, Lessons of Life, on Marriage, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Ranting About Life, the Consequences of Life, The Passages in Life, Values of Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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