They’d tasted the forbidden fruits, and now, they are, both, punished, right? Uh, NO, because she was the one who’d initiated the sexual intercourse, so she was, blamed more, as a teenager, translated…
After I’d sent last week’s column to print, a friend of mine asked me to tell her story.
In high school, she and her boyfriend from her same class got sent into the gender equality review of the school. Reason being that the two of them lied about how the whole class was going out for an overnight stay, when in truth, it was, just the two of them, spending an entire evening together out on a date, afterwards, because the girl was a bad liar, in a conversation with her own mother, she’d disclosed what happened, and the mother got furious, called up the homeroom instructor, and demanded that the class instructor call the boy’s parents to resolve the matter.
The guy’s father showed up, lowered his voice, begged my friend’s mother for forgiveness, and kept pressing his son’s head down, wanted him to bow to show how sorry he was, and that “if it’s necessary, we will, transfer out of school”, but, in the process of the investigations, the wind changed directions: she was the one, who’d, suggested this overnight trip with him alone.
The boy’s father started, cussing the daughter out, and, the mother, didn’t fend for her, because she was insulted by the guy’s father, instead, she’d, used worse terms to cuss her own daughter out. “Where’s the homeroom instructor?”, I’d asked, my friend told, “She’d chimed in from time to time, ‘mom, stop grilling her’, but most of the time, she’d, kept her silence.” the end result was, my friend’s mother kept apologizing to the boy’s father, and took her to the OBGYN, to make sure she’s still, a virgin.
I was shocked, and inquired, “How can this be, is she only, needing confirmations, that you’re, not pregnant?”, she’d smiled bitterly, and replied, “As she found out, my period already came”, I couldn’t find my words, then, she’d added, “She said, it was, to make sure, that I didn’t contract anything, but, after the examinations, she’d told me to get out of the doctor’s office, that she’d wanted to speak to the doctor alone, and I knew, that there was, something MORE to it. And, after I’m an adult, and started dating, and spent the nights out, she’d always grilled me, ‘you’re no longer a virgin, and you still whored around.’”
After this, she and the boy stayed in the same class, the homeroom instructor at the start of it, had worked hard, to separate them, later on, the boy started showing signs of emotional distress, because she’d wanted to break up with him, and, the instructor told her, to NOT hurt him that awfully. I’d asked, “Didn’t the school do anything for you guys?”, she said, “I was called to the counselor’s office, to be taught, ‘how to date healthily’, and every time I was called in, I’d, spaced out, or kept telling the teachers, ‘I regretted what I’d done’ again, and again.”
photo from online…
I’d told her, I’m not able to judge, that I was sad, that she was, treated like that. She’d told me, that the boy was also called by the counselor, “But, do you know what they’d told him? They’d told him, ‘Do remember, to put on a condom next time!’, if both of us lied to the teachers, then, why was I, reprimanded more?”
I’d asked her, if she could, how would she prefer to be treated by the adults? At the age of thirty this year, she’d told me, “Do treat the males and females fairly, and, on why we’d lied about it, at first, it was, out of curiosities, NOT to defy our parents, and, as we were caught, we’d felt, bad too; the teenage rebellions, along with our hatred toward the adults, all showed up, after these sorts of insulting ways that they’d, handled what we’d done.”
So, because these adults, the teachers, the counselors, the parents did NOT handle the fact that their young were having SEX underage too well, that, was what caused this dent in this woman’s mind, and, had she been treated differently, not been grilled for initiating the sex with that boy, and just been told about the risk of unprotected sex, and the possible outcomes if she had sex before being ready for it, then, it would’ve been better, but the adults were, too emotional in this, which caused the children, to become, maladapted as well!