So Long as I Keep You Here, Inside My Heart…

Well…

So long, as I keep you here, inside my heart, you will, always, BE with me, and we shall, NEVER get separated again, but, you were, taken from me already, and, nobody has, YET to pay!

So long, as I keep you here, inside my heart, that, is what they all tell me, when you were, taken from me, but, NONE of them (people outside of my physical presence, hello, hello, hello???) knew, what it felt like, to LOSE you, because they’re not the ones, experiencing that void, that emptiness, taking OVER my god DAMN uterus here, so, what the F*** (maxed out???) would they know, huh???

and, here’s that hole in my heart, in case anybody needed a “visual”…

not my photograph…

So long, as I keep you here, inside my heart, well, you’re, still, inside of me, that small part of my heart, really deep inside, as I’d already, managed, to ERASE you, out of my memories, so I won’t have to, think of you (how old you would be by now, what you would look like, still NO clue, by the way!!!), I’ll be, just fine…

And yet, who knows, maybe, I’ll start, mourning, for you again, darling daughter of mine (nope, still ain’t got MY daughter here, she’s already been DEAD, since ’08, remember???), just don’t know when that’ll be, perhaps, when I go out running, feeling my uterus, bouncing up and down inside my body, that, is when I’ll, start crying again, who knows?  It hasn’t, happened Y-E-T, so…………………

So long as I keep you, here, inside my heart, you are, inside of my heart, but, OUTSIDE of my body now, and, I no longer, missed you like crazy, my EIGHT-year-old (that’s how OLD she should be this year!!!), Emily!

And NO, baby, mommy still can’t have you!