She could feel that sense of jitter, that small irritation that was, originally, contained, by that small locked up box, getting, out of proportion…
She tried hard, to silence her insides, but, the more she shushed at them louder they’d screamed, for her attention, it’d started happening, during the days, as well as, making its way, into her sleepless nights too!
not my photograph…
Silencing her insides, she’d told them: shush! I don’t want to hear what you all have to say, so, shut the F*** up already, before, before I shoot each and every last one of you with my rifle, for real now!!!
Silencing her insides, the more she’d tried to keep them piped down, the louder they’d fought, to get heard by her, but, she was, not yet ready to cope, so, she’d, spiral into denial, and boy, oh boy, that, was one HELL of a fall all right…
She’d fallen, down, into, that deep, dark abyss, and, she’d fallen, for god knows how long, and still not, hit the bottom yet! Silencing her insides, her insides were now at war: if you won’t listen to us, then, we’ll make you pay! That, was how that uprising started, and, she’d purged, and purged, and purged, until she couldn’t purge anymore, and yet, things still came out, one right after the next, and, it seemed, like, it was, never gonna end, then…
Everything stopped moving, and, she’d, listened close, with her ears, wide open, no sound!
And, finally, after having denied herself the truth of herself, of her existence, of her life so long, she’d started, listening, and, her insides became, silenced, all on their own, and this time, she didn’t need to use ANY form of force, to MAKE all that noise stop sounding off…
painting found online…
Had she known it was, so easy (just by listening!), to silence her own insides, she would’ve, done it a whole lot sooner, but, without fighting off that loud noise from inside of her, she would’ve, never gained full understanding, of how to correctly, silence her own insides.