Let’s NOT get THAT technical here, but, it’s been, ‘bout TEN years, and TWO months, since you’d been gone, and, I wish I can say, that it gets easier (well, I’m not crying like hell right now, so, it must be easier these days???), but it doesn’t, ‘cuz I still get reminded, of how we could’ve been (especially ‘round that time of the months???), and I’d become, melancholic again………
It’s been how LONG ago since you’d been gone again??? And, not a day goes by, that I’d not mourned, for this loss, but, time does, WASH everything away slowly (like for my two already DECEASED dogs???), when I think about you, I’d felt, more at peace now, knowing that you’re better off, DEAD, as this god DAMN world is so unfitting, for me or you to live in (and yet, I was still born!!!).
It’s been how long ago since you’d been gone??? Oh, I’d, lost count of that, but, I’ll tell you how old you SHOULD be, and that would be EIGHT, and you should be, running around MY house, with my boys (your older brothers???), having a good time, just, being a kid, and having that childhood of running wild AND free, that I never had the chance of having.
But the thing is, fate has a twisted way of working things out, so, I’m still, without you, my darling already MURDERED baby girl! And, I’m okay, knowing, that it’s for the best, that you were, NEVER born to me…
not my photograph…
And, feel free to call me a BAD or an AWFUL mother, but I know for a FACT, that I’m a better mother than most, given the way that I was brought up, by abuse AND neglect (yup, those, were the “names” of my “parents”!!!)!