My Mother’s Troubles

On how the daughters, helped the mother to interact better with her daughter-in-law, helping her, dealing with empty nest, of letting go of her expectations toward her only son, translated…

Because my father passed away earlier, the four of us, siblings were basically, raised by my mother. Her earnings of a middle school instructor weren’t quite enough, but she was able to, send each and every one of us abroad after we’d finished our university careers, with the money she’d saved. She’d always told us, that education is the best form of investment that anyone can make, that only through acquiring the knowledge, and the skills, are we able to, get ourselves out of poverty; and so, in our coming of age, we’d just needed to study hard, make good grades, as for the tuitions, and the household expenses, she’d never, made us worry one bit.

a woman, taking her mother out, photo from online…

And now, all of us siblings are all married, with jobs, not only are we all, outstanding in our separate fields of expertise, we’d started, enjoying becoming parents. As our mother talked about our achievements with others, she was always, glowing, to the point of being a bit too proud, and I can see, how proud of all of us, she was.

But recently, as the subject of my youngest brother came up, there was, that strong scent of disappointment in her. As the only son in the family, after my youngest brother married and started having children, my mother and my youngest sister-in-law started having conflicts. Actually, none of the matters was that big a deal, but becausce my youngest brother had focused all his mind on his career, he couldn’t work well, as the bridge between our mother and his own wife, and slowly, as the number of conflicts increased, there’s, that discord that’s, settled in, to the household, which made my mother blue.

Several times, we, the sisters had, invited our mother, to stay with us at our homes, but, because of my mother’s traditional beliefs, she’d still, insisted on living with her son and daughter-in-law.

And because of this, the three of us, older sisters, discussed with our youngest brother, that if he couldn’t manage the role of mediator between his wife and our mother, then, at least, he should, get them to interact with one another better. As he’d turned in late, he’d had to greet my mother, and when he went out on business trips, to bring back some special food items, or on the weekends, take our mother to a one-day trip, none of these takes too much time, but it’s, a great way, to get the family together, to interact.

We’d also put in our separate efforts, we’d made up these three key rules. First, we’d asked to take her out to meals, to converse with her, to show that we cared about her, allowing her negative feelings to find an outlet. Secondly, we’d, signed her up for travels, and elderly interest courses, for her to establish her own social circle, to find a brand new focus in her life again. Third, we’d collected an assortment of newspaper clippings, articles from magazines, and from online, and helped teach her to have more empathy, in interacting with her own daughter-in-law.

like this!  Not my picture…

After a few months, I’d felt, that my mother’s moods lifted, that she’s, started, smiling again, and, we all felt, much, much relieved.

So, this, is how the daughters helped their mother, with her empty nest, because this mother put her whole heart into expecting her son will take care of her, and, she’d moved in with her son and his wife, and, naturally, there would be, the difficulties between the daughter and mother-in-law, but gladly, these sisters-in-law (the man’s older sisters) were there, as buffers, and, they’d, offered their mother an outlet, which was what helped this elderly woman feel better.