Thoughts from a Conversation

not speaking in the SAME language!  Not my picture…

From a therapy session a client-centered therapist had with his client, from a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated by me…

As the night draws in, the Fugue by Bach came on, performed by Glenn Gould. It had that intimate feeling with the evening, and the night air. This, was the depth of night in the springtime, silent, steady, and peaceful. With the fallen gardenias in my yard, the buds were, soaking up the energies of spring, waiting to bloom, I’d felt, it’s, a sort of a reply.

Life, always replied back to life.

Because of how I’d neglected in looking after the gardenias, they’d stopped blooming and started, withering away.

As the spring rain came recently, I’d started, taking care of the plants, and naturally, they’d, returned to their former days of glory once more. I felt, I’d, waited, for a very long time, just like, I’d waited on the Queen of the Night to bloom, it hadn’t, bloomed for a year and a half now. I was hoping, for the Queen of the Night, to perform that fugue with my gardenias.

yeah, uh, still NOT getting through…NOT my picture!

On this evening, filled with serenity, I’d closed my eyes, and felt, the gentleness from the gardenias. It’s, as if I’d heard, that silent spring rain falling, performing in synchrony, with the fugue in the stereo.

The rhythms from back and forth, sounded a whole lot like the conversations I’d had with the teenagers.

May came to consult me, because she felt this lack sense of purpose in life. What, does she hope to gain from the therapy sessions? She wanted to find her own goals!

I remembered a lot of students, who’d told me, they have no purpose in their lives! But life in itself, IS a purpose of sorts, children who are living, but without that sense of purpose, their lives are, stuck at some point. And so, the focus of our therapies are, on LIFE itself.

Conversation should be like a game of table tennis, back and forth, back and forth, and the better conversations are like the fugues, harmonious.

It’s just, that those who grew up in the “age of following demands”, they wouldn’t know, how to carry on in conversations, not at all used to passing the ball back and forth. There would be, the use of too much force, smacking that ball out of bounds, or using too little force, not being able to get the ball over the nets, or, reasoning without an inkling of emotions, making the advices harder to be accepted.

…

…

…

…

So here, in a conversation, there are, TWO actions being “performed”, listening AND talking, but because we’re all, too eager to be heard by others, we often, neglected the importance of listening to other people talk too, and that, is what causes the barriers in communication between ANY dyadic interaction (parent-to-child, husband and wife, teacher to student, bosses to subordinates, etc., etc., etc.), and until you can first, MASTER the ART of listening (meaning not “coloring” other people’s words with YOUR own interpretations, and just, HEAR their words as is!), you will always be, STUCK, in the vicious cycle of ineffective communication measures!