The Six Key “Steps” of Emtional Blackmai…

From a book in Chinese I’m currently “working on”, reading, that is, this is from the theories of Susan Forward…

Step ONE: Demand~making UNREASONABLE demands to someone who’s lesser than you (children, subordinates at work, etc. etc., etc.), to GET the individuals to do WHAT you want them to, even IF it’s against their free will!

Step TWO: Resistance~when the party being “threatened” feels that the demands made of them are quite unreasonable, but doesn’t put an END to it (allowing the ABUSER to keep on blackmailing???), and only when the demands became totally WAYWARD (too unreasonable to cope with???), the individual being BLACKMAILED finally voices her/his concern, put still doesn’t put the FOOT down.

how you’re being  CONTROLLED!!!  Not my silhouette…

Step THREE: Pressure~as the emotional BLACKMAILER realizes: hey, you’re NOT doing what I’m telling you to do! It is also during THIS stage, that the guilt trips are mostly used, as way of CONTROL…

Step FOUR: Threat~ The individual chooses to CONTROL the enabling party by enforcing the rules even more, using threats like: if you don’t blah-blah-blah, then I will, yada-yada-yada.

Step FIVE: Compliance~as the “party” (my BAD!!!) that’s being THREATENED feels unsafe, s/he believes, that the ONLY way to save oneself is by complying to the demands made by the other “party” (see the LAST parenthesis!!!), and CAVES, leading to the continuation of THIS particular VICIOUS cycle, and the person unknowingly becomes, the ENABLER of one’s own FUCKED up relational interactions.

yup, those big eyes ALWAYS do teh “ttrick”, don’t they???  Not my photo…

Step SIX: Repetition~as the two people continued to interact using steps one through five, the ABUSER becomes more and more “educated” on what makes the weaker “party” cave, and s/he is surely, to use STRONGER measures to keep the enabler (aka. the VIC!!!) under her/his control.

Now, look around you, and tell me, are there ANY of these six steps happening to you or the ones you’re in love with (i.e. family, friends, spouses, parent-children, coworkers, etc., etc., etc.?), and, WHAT will you DO ‘bout it, I wonder………


About taurusingemini

All I have to say, I've already said it, and, let's just say, that I'm someone who's ENDURED through a TON of losses in my life, and I still made it to the very top of MY game here, TADA!!!
This entry was posted in A Wrong Kind of Love, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Styles, Breaking Free from the Cycle of Abuse, Social Awareness, the Cycle of Abuse, the Vicious Cycle, Theories vs. Applications and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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