The Difficulties of the Boundary Issues of Living with the Parents

A Q&A, translated…

Q: I’d Helped Out Around the House, and Yet, My Mother Complained to Everybody She Knows…

Mrs. Z in her thirties, has two kindergarten-age children, recently, she’d hurried back into the workforce for the second time again. She is burning on both ends of family and her career, it’s already taxing enough, plus, for the sake of having her two children, she’d stopped working for five, six years already, and, the workforce had already, changed, in order to catch up to her company, she’s already, very stressful.

Gladly, Z’s mother is retired, and lives with Z, and can help chauffeur the kids to and from school. Thankfully for her mother, that Z and her husband could buy the house they’d living in right now, and the mortgages, the couple is now, paying up. With her house, and her children, Z is very grateful toward her own mother, but one day, Z received a call from her only aunt, blamed Z for NOT keeping her house well enough, that she did the dirty laundries not by the day, and had her mother do it too, and, which kid can be as blessed as she was, that the down payment that her mother put up for their place, was supposed to have been her retirement funds…………

do it, without the COMPLAINTS, or, don’t do it at all!  Not my clip art…

As Z heard her aunt ranting on, she couldn’t even explain. That her mother loved her so, that, was why she’d assisted her, but, why did she, complain to an outsider, making an outsider believe, that she was, extremely unfitting as a daughter. Thankfully she was a daughter, had she been a daughter-in-law, this would’ve totally start the WARS between the mother and daughter-in-law for sure? Z kept all of this to herself for days on end, not knowing, how she can, face her mother.

A My Advice

If the way of communications is opened up between a mother and a daughter daily, then, they should just tell each other what the problem is. Z worked on busily, and she doesn’t do the chores until she found the time to, and, she should tell her mother, that this was an adjustment she’s made, due to her return to the workforce, and, at the same time of thanking her mother for her help, she’d needed to tell her mother, that that, was not one of her obligations, otherwise, she will feel very bad for her. As for the down payment of the house, so long as her work became more stabilized, she will slowly pay her mother back, that she doesn’t need to worry. Being family, some things, those who were helped should voice their gratitude directly, and, needed to state how they will pay the ones who’d helped them back, that way, the elders would be settled and not complain on it.

So, the mother is the one who’s doing something awful here, she WAS the one who’d LENT her daughter the money for the down payment for her place when she’d asked her for it, she could’ve said no, but she didn’t, and now, she’s complaining to her sisters about how her daughter DRAINED dry her retirement funds? And, on the household chore front, IF the mother didn’t feel like doing it, then, she shouldn’t BE doing it, and, this ties in how everybody HAS a different way of doing things, and, there’s NO right or wrong in that, and, because they’re living under the same roofs, they should RESPECT one another’s methods of doing things, and, if one of them doesn’t like how the other does things, then, the individual CAN redo it, but, without the COMPLAINTS!

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About taurusingemini

All I have to say, I've already said it, and, let's just say, that I'm someone who's ENDURED through a TON of losses in my life, and I still made it to the very top of MY game here, TADA!!!
This entry was posted in Experiences of Life, Family Dynamics, Family Relations, Lessons of Life, Properties of Life, Ranting About Life, the Consequences of Life, Values of Life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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