The Fulfillment of Being a Teacher

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, written by a former school instructor who’s now, working in the realms of counseling, translated, by me…

…

…

…

Actually, I’m no educator, I just understand well, this mode of relating, interacting. From infancy, to late adulthood, it’s this way, on the one hand, I’m only using one methodology, on the other, because I have yet, to learn the other effective methods of approach.

For the assortments of plants to flourish, they all need various environments, for instance, the acidity of the soils, the amount of water, the sunlight………, and this, is what I’d, come to understand, as my methods to teaching. And this, is NOT my focus in education at all, the allotting of the right kinds of nutrients, to the various students, instead, I’d viewed that every life, needs air, water, sunlight, and in the human world, I believe these necessities are in the forms of love, acceptance, value, like the Satir method, it’s, a method of continual growth.

M’s mother became worried, her son had a confrontation with someone, he’d reacted, very rashly each and every time, I’d asked her about the frequencies of her son’s misbehaviors, there were, about SIX time in just three months’ time. Asking the number of time, is my way, of observing, also, a sort of an assessment of the child’s conditions. This most recent time, was with an elder from the household, M was very worked up, and engaged in physical confrontation with the elder. His mother was worried, that he can, react so violently.

I’d spent half an hour talking to M last night about this, M became somewhat defensive, with his sense of anger still intact. I’d slowly, guided him, heard him told me, of what happened, turns out, M was playing a video game with a cousin, and, the elder, for some reasons, unplugged the machines, on verge of them, passing the levels.

M should get angry, and, if he didn’t, then, something would be WRONG with him! M’s problem was how he’d expressed his anger, but, in order, to let M know, that he’d, reacted wrong, I’d needed to, make M feel that his feelings were accepted, that he is, loved, and that, he’s held, in high regards. All of these, most basic of all energies, often got drowned and buried, in the expectations of the adults, and because the adults felt flustered by these energies, they couldn’t, manage to connect to the love, and accept the children’s behaviors.

Due to the time and place that M came to see me, I only empathized with M before his class started, that anybody who’s in his situation has the right to feel angry, it’s just, the way he’d handled it, had become damaging to himself. I didn’t want him to hurt himself, and, told him, that if he’d wanted a better way to resolve the conflicts with his relative, then, we can talk about it.

The topic I have my students write on yesterday was, “The Final Time of Your Lives”, and, this group of students are, very rigorous, disciplined, the students didn’t get into the experiences as deeply or quickly as the rest of the other classes I’d taught. But, M’s comment in class was, very interesting, he’d, surprisingly, engaged in writing, a whole three pages, and, before he’d left, he’d come to my desk and asked me, “What, is the better way of handling it?”

In my book, “The Powers of Communications”, I’d mentioned the concept of “checking”. From the way M had inquired me, I can tell, that he was, in search, of a better way of handling it, just like the adults in his life too. It’s just, that the adults are looking for a quick-fix, by reasoning, by ordering the kids, to behave better. And, M couldn’t, feel the life forces: love, value, and acceptance from that. Allowing M to feel the life forces, doesn’t mean letting M off the hook for his own misbehaviors, without the feedbacks, the two can’t be connected at all. It’s just, that in the adults’ experiences, there’s, very little experiences that showed them that this method worked.

And this still showed, how ADULTS are WAY too STUPID, you’re ALL tyrants, dictating that your children or someone else’s kids behave themselves, without realizing, that hey, the way the kids are behaving may be, a REFLECTION of how you interact, because, children will ALWAYS model after the adults in their behaviors, unless, unless, you’re, RAISED by wolves, then, there’s still, that specific PECKING order you need to follow if you plan to survive!