Because she’d been there, that, is why she can understand where those younger generations of women came from, thoughts, translated…
Awhile ago, an elder just saw her son get married, and, she’d come visit my home more and more often, but, every time she’d struck up the conversations, it’d always ended up being a “dissing out the daughters-in-law” by all the ladies present.
don’t you feel the daughter-in-law, trying to break away here??? Not my comic!
Watching their lips opening and shutting, like those Uzis, changing the thoughts into the words, that shot across my living room, I couldn’t help, but how I’d started having my panic symptoms when I first married my husband, moved in with his family, and moved away from mine.
Before I wed, I was so naïve, with the joys of the honeymoon phase, without any hesitations, entered, into the world of the man I’d loved for five years, the world he’d, grown up in, although my mother’s words of warnings still rang loud in my ears, but, basking in the sweetness of being newlywedded, how can I have possibly guessed, at the AWFUL bitterness that’s coming toward me?
AS I’d entered into the household of strangers, because I’m an “unknown species” to them, my husband’s side of the family kept a close surveillance on my behaviors, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, my eldest sister-in-law, my younger sister-in-law, as well as my youngest brother-in-law, they’d put me underneath that microscope and examined me so closely, to see if my behaviors were fitted to their rules. And, this sort of being pressured, it doesn’t dissipate, after I’d returned back into my own bedroom, because, my close intimate other became, “my husband’s family” too, there’s NO more of that kind and caring nature that was there before, when we were still just boyfriend/girlfriend, my husband’s demands of my role as his wife, went hand-in-hand with the assortment of rules set up by my mother-in-law in her house, and, there was, absolutely, NO room of any discussion, I felt suffocated.
In order to comply, to improve my relationships with my husband’s side of the family, I’d, worked hard, to change my behaviors, and hidden my feelings, and even IF I was ill with a high fever I’d still, worked hard, to take care of everybody else’s life, not daring to head back into my room to rest up, fearing, that I may, displease my own mother-in-law again.
But even AS I’d worked so hard, to fit the role of a good daughter-in-law in front of my in-laws, their demands and complaints toward me only increased by the day, let alone, offering words of console. And, that thought of running to escape kept surfacing in my mind, I’d started becoming an insomniac, and, the sleeping pills couldn’t help me out at all, and, I’d gotten in worse arguments with my husband over, and over, and over again.
this, is how alone the married woman feels, not my drawing…
Finally, I’d finally had it, couldn’t take it anymore, grabbed my bags, left my child who’s not-yet-one year old, walked out of my mother-in-law’s household with everybody watching. After my husband learned about this after work, he’d run to my parents’ place with my young child, begged me to get back, and my mother-in-law called my mother up, talked to her a lot. And, I’d set up the rules, and had him sign the papers, then stamped it, then, I was, willing to, return back to that “home” that’s, making me unhappy. After that, my husband started helping out after work, and as my mother-in-law saw we’re getting along better, and stopped meddling and talked trash about me anymore either.
Hearing all the ladies started talking TRASH about their daughters-n-law, I’d finally had it with all of them, chimed in, “Ladies, your son helps your daughter-in-law with the household chores, it’s because you were a good mother to teach him so, you should feel very proud of him………”
This, just shows, how INCONSIDERATE these families are, of their daughters-in-law, because even NOW, daughters-in-law are synonymous with the “free hired help”, and these ladies who’d married into these sorts of family had their hardships cut out for them, because their husbands (1 @ a time) will NEVER stand UP for them, and their mothers-in-law, just keep picking at them, until they finally, couldn’t handle it anymore!