Needing some help here!!! A Q&A, translated…
Q: Don’t know if something’s wrong with my mother mentally, or if she really doesn’t like my boyfriend…
Q is thirty-two years old currently, and had been working in Germany for many years now, last year, she’d taken her German boyfriend back to Taiwan to visit her family, and to announce her marriage to him; but her family refused to meet him, the primary reason being how her mother doesn’t like her marrying a German, she’d even threatened to kill herself if Q insisted on so doing.
Q couldn’t understand why her mother reacted the way she had? Other than feeling bad about it, perhaps, it was because Q’s mother spent a lot of money on her, and just, wanted her to stay close. But, to make threats of committing suicide, it’s, way overboard.
Q’s mother didn’t have her own social circle, she didn’t get along with her siblings well at all, her life revolved around her children. And, although Q’s mother’s threatening to kill herself was predicted to be false by a therapist friend of Q’s, but, as she was heading back to Germany, her younger brother started crying, he told Q, to NEVER give up her own life, that it’s best, if she doesn’t come back to Taiwan again in three to five years’ time; and even IF something did happen to the family, he’d wanted Q to know, that it was her mother’s choice, and not her fault……it’d sounded like to Q, that her mother will, try to kill herself, Q wanted to know what she is to do.
A My Advice
I’m thinking, that the reason why Q’s mother was against her marrying her Germany boyfriend has more to do with him being German. Q felt, that although work is hard, but, currently, the working conditions in Germany is WAY better than in Taiwan, and made the promise to use webcam with her mother regularly, and invited her to Germany to travel, and she’d started searching for a job that will allow her to travel between Taiwan and Germany, but her mother shut herself down, refused to eat her meals regularly, it’d broken Q’s heart and she doesn’t know what to do about it.
I think, that Q’s family should take Q’s mother to see a psychiatrist, that there may be something MORE to how rashly her mother reacted to her wanting to marry a German man than just him being a foreigner, other than she felt that he’s not good enough for her, Q’s mother who’d shut herself in may also have depression or bipolar disorder, and, had everybody gotten used to it, and not noticed her psychological wellbeing? If Q’s mother used this sort of emotional blackmail to cope with what she doesn’t want to accept, it would be bad, if she could, threaten to get her way, the family should really work hard, to find out the reasons behind why she’d behaved like she had.
So, maybe, it’s how the mother felt that she’d spent so much time, so much money, AND energy into giving her daughter EVERYTHING she’d never had, and now she’s marrying, OFF abroad, that’s made her feel so displeased, that she’d THREATENED to kill herself if she does, who knows, but, until the family get to the real reason behind why her mother is using threats, this problem will always persist, and the best way is to take the mother into therapy, to get her the professional help she needed, or just get her socializing more, because she may be experiencing the case of the empty nest, but, we don’t know any of that for sure.