The elderly here, is very open-minded, completely without the traditional Chinese values, translated…
As an only son, my youngest brother carried the belief of living singly, and, everybody from all around, the neighbors, the relatives, the friends all prodded with my mother, “Your son is almost forty, why doesn’t he marry?”, my mother was very “trendy” in her replies, “Don’t you see how free he’s living? Why must he get married?”
On the year my youngest brother turned forty, he’d met his wife who is the same age as he, four short months after they’d started dating, they’d decided to get married. At the ceremonies, everybody wished them, “Have a child soon! Neither one of you is young, you must, hasten up!” My mother smiled at everybody, replied, “No need to hurry, just let the two of them enjoy their married life without children for a bit!”
My youngest brother is married for five years now, and, my sister-in-law didn’t have any news either, the two of them weren’t stressed about it, neither was my mom, and yet, it’d, stressed out a bunch of our close relatives, families, and friends.
“Your son is an only son, why don’t you prod him to have a grandchild for you?” “Is your daughter-in-law infertile? I know a Chinese doctor who can help her out!”, and, my mother’s replies went from “They have their own plans and beliefs, everything shall come naturally!”, to the recent year’s, “Don’t you see how free they’re living? Why must they have a child?”, my mother continued her optimistic outlook and open attitude.
My mother’s not pushing my youngest brother to marry, not pushing my youngest sister-in-law to have a child, and, she’d awed me with her ways of handling the inquiries from all around, as well as how open she is toward my brother and sister-in-law’s way of life.
At age seventy-five, without enough education, mom was raised in the traditionalist ways, but, she’d not become traditional like the elders I knew, because having children is going to cause stresses on the relationships of the members of the family, or maybe, because there were, too many nosy people all around, that’s caused the person too much pressures.
Other than giving a few more thumbs up to my mother who’s very opened, I want to thank her, that in her being a role model for me, I’m sure, that I too, also won’t get bogged down by the values of procreation, nor would I be stressed out over if my son didn’t want to get married. I hope that I will be like mom, just respect my children’s choices in life, and just be a free and happy aging elderly woman.
So, this, is this mother’s view toward her only son marrying late and not having children, because this elderly wasn’t bound by the traditionalist beliefs of needing a male heir to carry on the family name, and she just wanted her son to live comfortably, doing what he loved, so, she doesn’t, push him to have a child, and this not only benefitted the family in relating to each other, it also reduces the frictions between the mother and daughter-in-law as well.
Life, the Obstacle Course 