The daughter is still the one, seeking out advice here, a Q&A, translated…
Q: Wanted to Help Her Mother, But She Doesn’t Know Where to Start…
In these couple of years, the images of “mother” and “daughter” kept getting redefined over, over, and over again. In the past, the daughter’s life experiences were drawn from the mother’s life, and, the relations of the mother and daughter became, more intimate than any other sort of close family relations; but modern day, the women are getting more and more educated and more and more independent, they’d no longer wanted to put up with their mothers’ irrational behaviors or outbursts, but, feeling, that the mother’s words and emotions were too strong for her to handle, and, one wrong word, the mother-and daughter would get into a verbal altercation. Once D couldn’t put up with her mother’s insulting her anymore, she’d told her mother, “Say it right, and I will listen, why would you need to use these verbal insults?”, and the mother replied, “If I don’t make you feel insulted, how can you take my words in fully?”, it’d, totally, stunned D!
D’s mother is also very stubborn, she’d always told D that her father was calculating, and because D has the same sun and moon sign in horoscope as her father, she would be the exact replica of her own father. D felt, that this, was an unfair preconceived notion about her, that it didn’t have any basis.
Her mother would often complain on and on, about how wrong D’s father had, mistreated her, but she’d never thought how those words would affect her young; when D was in the elementary years, her mother had even shown her the divorce papers she’d had someone draft up, it’d made D depressed for quite awhile. She’d suggested her mother go see a psychotherapist, or get a bigger social circle, but her mother just refused to take her advice, what, can she do?
A My Advice
When someone slams that door on her/his heart shut, and not listened to anybody else’s advice, NOBODY can help her/him. It’s amazing, given how young D is, and she can already see her mother’s issues, I hope, that D can just let her mother have her way most of the time, to accompany her out, or, rent a few movies for her, to NOT get into fights wither, slowly, letting the mother know, that someone loves and cares for her, after a short while, see if she’s opened up about seeing a therapist, or to make friends, D should just, slowly, guide her mother then.
Uh, are you FUCKING shitting me here!!! Here, the ADULT is NOT mature enough, she’d used her daughter as her “significant other”, burdened her own OFFSPRING (whom she’d carried in her before giving birth, hello, hello, hello???) with HER emotions, and, in this case, the child ACTED like the ADULT, and because you can’t expect the mother to change, that, is why the problems rest on the young’s shoulders, and now, she’s working hard, to find a solution to this problem, that wasn’t even HERS to begin with, and this, is one of the worse case scenarios, of having an CHILD parent!