The memories of being offended, THAT, was why you REFUSED to head back, even for the holidays, translated…
“Are you coming with me for the holidays?”
I’d wiped my hands off my clothes after I’d done the dishes, dad was, in his usual chair, watching T.V. after supper, mom went downstairs to throw the trash out, there was, NO light in the living room, only the T.V. that’s blinking on and off.
what was done to the young child, and now, she’s, forced to keep it a secret!!! Not my photograph…
“No.” “Why?” “It’s just, too troublesome, and I’d not slept well there.”, the volume of the T.V. was not loud enough, and, all I can here, are the plastic slippers, dragging across the floors, I’d taken my slippers off, turned into my room, like what usually happens in a family, a kid who’s, easily annoyed by his parents.
Children always have some secrets, and, the secret of why I’d not wanted to head back for the holidays was, hiding on the roof of my third youngest uncle’s mansion.
We’d gone for a short stay at my third uncle’s place, he is very welcoming, and would pull on us, who’d rarely come back home to chat, to visit all around. That mansion which had, looked after me in childhood, made me rely on it a little more each and every year.
But, the holidays don’t always work out right, on a certain year, it was only my dad and I who’d gone back, being older now, I’d said that he’d snored too loud I couldn’t sleep, I’d refused, to sleep in the same room as he, and, squatted in my third uncle’s living room for the night. The very next day, my older cousin saw black rings around my eyes, and, he’d, suggested that I shared a room with him on the topmost floor of their mansion. The winters in the southern parts had that unusually high temperature, the mosquitoes buzzed on endlessly, my cousin and I had to, get up from time to time, to kill the mosquitoes, and, in the end, we’d, ended up, catching up in bed, couldn’t sleep.
the lips that were, silenced, not my photo…
I couldn’t remember when it was, that I’d started speaking about my older brother and my mother who’d not come. Maybe, because of my lack of sleep, or maybe, it was, me, getting too tired that I’d started, gotten softer, or maybe, because the contents of what I’d told my older cousin was too much, unfitting for the relatives, who hadn’t seen each other a long time; my older cousin put his hand on my head, patted me once, twice, like, comforting a young child. Then, before I could tell what motives he’d carried, he’d, moved his body, and, wrapped his arms around me, once, twice, patted me again, and again. Turns out, his thin body was, so very heavy, and, our intertwined legs, made their intended escape, and there was, buzzing from the mosquitoes in the room, the heat of the body made me start sweating, but, he’d not, let go of me, and, it didn’t seem as though he was, already asleep either, he’d, whispered something into my ears.
“Do you want to come back with me this year?”, my father didn’t look at me, like he was, casually asking me how my day was—is this, loosened statement, a question? The volume of the television was way too low, I can only hear those plastic slippers, dragging themselves across the floors, it’s so hard, to mask up my discomfort of the situation.
“No.” “Why not?” “It’s just, too troubling, and I can’t sleep well there.”
Some nights, I’d, lose sleep, as the New Years, approached me as the past year, came to an end.
So, this, is a BAD experience that this individual’s had, and, you can see WHY she didn’t want to go back home with her father, to visit, and, the older cousin had, abused the narrator’s trust, took advantage of the narrator’s need to talk to someone, and, made her uncomfortable, and this would constitute as improper misconducts of someone older taking advantage of someone else.