On how one interacts with one’s own elderly parent, translated…
My mother is eighty-six this year, she’d had a stroke twenty years ago, although she’d become, immobilized, but she’s still, full of life, enjoyed traveling a lot. And, these couple of years, although she’d needed her wheelchair, she’d gone with me to see the cherry blossoms on Yangming Mountain, to Danshui to see the sunset, to that cruise around Ishigakijima Island.
in need of company, not my photograph…
Last year as there was an outbreak of Dengue Fever, my mother was, infected, and, had gotten into that tug-of-war with death a couple of times, it’d worried the four of us, her children. Thankfully though, the heaven blessed her, she’d finally, gotten out of danger, didn’t get defeated by a tiny mosquito, even the doctor was surprised by her miracle recovery. But, after this near-death experience, her health became, ailing by the day, she’d entered and exited the I.C.U. for SEVEN times in just three months. At the start of this year, as the cold fronts hit, we’d considered how we would manage, along with our economics would allow us to, we’d, sent our mother in, to the nursing home, for the professionals to look after her.
AT first, my mother had a hard time adapting, and complained on how she couldn’t get used to the foods there, and so, I’d prepared her favorite, loofa with noodles, and radish cakes, and, rushed it over to her before her lunch, so she can get her food cravings satisfied. In the afternoon, my younger sister would, accompany her to physical therapy, and my youngest brother would go to greet her in the morning, and in the evenings. My mother had a constant flow of visitors, and, it’d, made her roommate envious, and finally, she’d, regained her smiles again.
a woman, going to see her mother at an assisted living home, photo from online…
My mother cared very much about her appearances, although her hair is thinning with her age, but, she’d still insisted that the trims that nursing home gave her wasn’t good, and would ask me to trim it for her. And, as long as the other elderly women around us, watching commented, “How pretty”, she’d smiled that shy smile of hers.
As her nails got longer, my mother would get upset, and not allowed the nursing home staff to trim it for her, said that the giant nail clipper was so scary, and, she’d asked my younger sister to trim her nails for her. And, my youngest sister living in Taichung, didn’t mind the long drive, and whenever she’d had a long weekend, she’d, driven to Tainan too, and, used her amazing massage skills, to satisfy my mother’s back and shoulders.
giving the elderly members of one’s family social and emotional supprt! Not my photograph.
Yes, my dearest mom, although you’d become, totally, codependent, and would, feel very upset with me, but, whenever I saw how your face smiled, without the tortures from your illness, I’d felt, that I was, more than blessed. At the age of sixty-something, I can still, stay by my mom’s side, to carry on in casual conversations with her, to have her play coy with me, I’d, cherished this sort of an ordinary blessing so!
This, is the how the family had, dealt, effectively, with this elderly woman’s mental and physical declines, they’d taken that positive attitude toward it, and, the children are always there with her, which makes the elderly feel less lonely, and that she wasn’t, abandoned by her kin, and that, is EXACTLY what the elderly needs, from their offspring as they grow older.
Life, the Obstacle Course 