What CAN you do, when you can, change him? You adapt yourselves, because you valued your marriages, translated…
After reading, “Having a Quiet Husband is Also Great”, I couldn’t help, but smile, turns out, there IS someone, who’s a quirk like my husband, with that social awkwardness; but, my husband’s quietness, pales by comparison to the husband of the other writer.
As I just got married, I’d often heard my mother-in-law tell me, that my husband almost, NEVER talked at all when he was a young child, and, they’d, at one time, wondered, if he was, “dumb”. Because as his cousins started arguing over a bag of snacks, he’d still, sat quietly to the side, watching everybody else go at it, not moved one bit. Until once as my mother-in-law asked my father-in-law the time, he’d rushed to answer her, correctly, that, was when my mother-in-law finally felt, alleviated, that he was, “normal”.
After we wed, whenever friends came to visit, the moment he heard the engines pulling in, he’d, run upstairs and hid out, until the guests all left, would he, come back downstairs, and, the guests never knew, that he was, at home. And, for all the celebrations of wedding, or the funerals, he’d always, sent in the gift moneys or the moneys for the families who’d lost a loved one, and not shown up in person, even as my youngest sister-in-law, moving into her home, or as his eldest sister married her daughter, I’d gone, on behalf of him, with our two children. Sometimes, his silence angered me so, that I’d wanted to, ignore him, instead, my eldest and youngest sisters-in-law all understood him well, said that he’d been like this since he was a kid, there’s no way of changing his temperament at all.
So, when my friends learned, that my husband worked in the field of business, they’d all shook their heads in disbelief, how does, a “silent” man as he, manage to, interact, and discuss business with his clients? But gladly, with his honest measures, not cutting any slacks, setting a fair enough price, and his earthiness, he was able to, get an unending supply of orders, without going to the business calls and outings, and almost ALL of his clients had been buying from him, for over twenty years.
Like the writer of the article, because of bad genes and bad model, my son too, belonged to the “silent type” that the other writer’s son belonged in, not only does he NOT like greeting our families or friends, he’d saved up on his words at home too. But gladly, after my son started working in the service industries, he’d become, more active, more animated, with the increase of interaction with other people.
I’m truly in awe, at the author of the other article, who’d, put up with her husband’s silent ways, because even after close to thirty years of marriage, my husband’s silent ways are still, somewhat, troubling to me. And, I blame it on how we’d connected through the distances, and we’d, written to each other, my husband not only wrote very well, he had a very nice handwriting too, and now, my friends all joked about, how I was, enticed away, by his handwriting.
Yup, this, would be the PROBLEM, with marrying a man who’s, too quiet, and, this woman, just like the woman from the other article, didn’t understand, JUST how quiet her husband actually is, until she’d, married him, but, she’d adapted, and, her son became, more outgoing, after he’d started working, so, she has, NOTHING to worry about for her son, but her husband, well, she’s still married, isn’t she? So, this, is how someone can make it work, with someone, who has an undesirable quality in personality.