A Matter of Dozing Off…

Can’t, stay…awake, mind’s telling me to ZZZZZ, but, my sensible side tells me to, “WAKE UP!!!”, having experienced this firsthand, this school teacher became, more tolerant of her students who’d, dozed off in her class too, translated…

During my middle school year, the academic courses became too burdensome, we’d had tests every single day, in Chinese, mathematics, geography, history, English, etc., etc., etc., we were taking exams, EVERY single class period EVERY single day. Back then, I had yet to be introduced to coffee, I’d gotten too tired during the day, and needed to pull all-nighters, and, I’d fallen asleep on my textbooks a lot, and, as I woke back up, I’d, glanced over at the clock, and, felt that sense of panic, coming over me. I couldn’t hang my shoulders up by the beams, and so, I’d prepared, the cold towels, sleeping bugs, go to HELL now!

not my photograph…

Pulling those all-nighters, I was, fatigued, and anxious, sleep-deprived; during the daytime in class, if my instructors were among the monotonic, boring courses, I’d needed to, up the level of my wills to manage, for instance, I’d had to, dig my own sharpened nails into my legs or neck, and, at the worst, I’d needed to use toothpicks, to pry open my fallen, heavy eyelids, so I don’t get, dragged away, by the sleeping bugs. It’s just, whenever the sleeping bugs waved their arms at you, you’d become, dozed, and, in less than a second, you’d forgotten, ALL the ways you’d come up with, to fend it off.

I’d clearly recalled, that my physical science teacher in my second year of middle school, had a flat voice, without any pause in his lectures, he’d even, saved the time, to rewet his dried up throat, his lips always, lingered on and on, and, not long thereafter, you’d see him, foaming up at the corners of his lips. And, my attention drifted from the discussions of the elements on the periodic tables, to the saliva out of his mouth, and, shortly thereafter, I’d waken up, from the slimy, drool-filled textbook.

After I’d gotten out of the serious spells of the middle school united examinations, I’d chosen to attend technical high school, and, I’d no longer needed to cram in all the books at night, and yet, the courses of accounting, bookkeeping, statistics, aren’t that interesting to me, and, all the numbers and digits, became hard like the wax, for me, to chew and swallow down. And so, I’d gotten back into the habits of dozing off like I had back in middle school. We’d had a total of THREE class reunions since we’d all graduated, and, every time I’d gone to see my former classmates, as we’d talked about the past, we’d forgotten, a LOT of the details, and yet, the classmates all seemed to remember, how I’d, dozed off in class, so clearly, to the way I looked, asleep.

and yes, we are all, NO longer, attentive here, not my photograph!

I’d spent a long time of my teenage years in sleep, back then, my skin was so soft and pink, that even my younger sister, and my best friend said they’d wanted to, take a bite out of it. I’m thinking, that it must’ve been due to how much sleep I’d gotten.

I’d sat, and, dozed off, then, does that mean, that if I’m walking, and standing up right, I’m, wide awake? Not necessarily. I’d once part-timed at a textile mill, and I’d asked the boss to give me three consecutive shifts, I was in charge of a total of seven, to eight machines, I’d carried those kegs of heavy yarn, walked to and fro, and, placed the yarns into the machines, and, the machines took in the yarns too fast, and I’d, not worked, fast enough, the machine didn’t have the yarns to weave, and, stopped working, and once it’d, stopped, we’d needed to have the technicians to turn it on, and operate it again, after two, three times, my manager started looking grim, I’d, walked swiftly between the machines, to make sure, that I’d not, overlooked anything, and still, I’d, kept my eyes open, feet are moving, and, yawning time and time again, and the dreams, came, tiptoed into my head.

I can dream, standing up, walking, not to mention, while driving too. I’d driven for about thirty years so far, and, I’d always had problems, on the freeways, the speed limits were not fast enough, every freeway looked exactly identical, there’s NO significant changes in the cars rushing by, NO pedestrians, NO shopfronts to distract me, NO lights that I can take the time out, to put on my make up, fluff up my hair, and by this way, the roads were, boring as well, and, I’d naturally, dozed off while driving.

very dangerous behavior, sleeping, behind the W-H-E-E-L-S, not my photo…

Dozing off usually happens, when I’m only, half aware, or becoming, completely unaware, in the process, every time, my heart felt ill-at-ease, and, I’d felt bad about it, but, my body felt natural, and comfortable, with NO obstructions in the way. It’s just, that it’s hard, not to doze off, and, dozing off, is not at blame. Every time I’d seen those political party members, dozing off in the sessions, that were caught, by the paparazzi, no matter what party they’d belonged to, I’d felt, heartaches for them.

Because I’d been, overcome with the sleepiness, and can’t break free from its grips, I’d not allowed myself, to just, fall asleep soundly, and that sort of pain, only those like me can understand. And so, as I’d become a teacher too, and see my kids’ eyes, closing in class, I can’t help, but empathize with them. It’s fine, I’ll just, talk to the rest who are still, awake and attentive. Then, I’d see my students, shaking their bodies, swaying their bodies left to right, still couldn’t fight it off, and, fall flat onto the desks. And, some kids would, tattle on their fellow classmates naturally, it’s fine, he didn’t mean it, don’t disturb him, just let him get enough sleep, then, he’ll be fully attentive next period. And, as the weather got colder, I’d even, asked the student sitting next to the students who fell asleep, to put a coat onto their bodies. It’s just, that I still felt, obligated, to tell their parents what happened to their young in my class.

Being tolerant of my students dozing off in class, it wasn’t out of kindness, or mercy at all, but because I’d understood the pains, because I was once, sitting in their chairs myself. And, even as I was in a seminar in school, and if it was, mandatory, and the contents were, boring as hell, plus I’d become, taxed and tired out, and, the chairs were, way too comfortable, very ergonomic, and, my will wasn’t, strong enough, no matter the season, that atmosphere of evil started, forming slowly, and so, that sleepy bug took over the whole of me too.

It’s okay. After the sleepy bugs’ effects wore of, I’ll, say hi to the world again, feeling, refreshed.

This, is how important sleep is, but, because the students here are in school, over TEN hours a day, and, when they get home at night, they’d stayed up, to study, to prepare for their exams, to do their practice exams given by the cram schools, naturally, they’d become, totally wiped out during the day time when they head off to school, and, this becomes, a VICIOUS cycle, but gladly, because this teacher experienced it firsthand, just how difficult those, sleeping bugs are, to fight off, she’d become, more understanding toward her students who’d, dozed off in her class.