Inside of Me

I’d kept you, inside of me, for close to TEN whole years now, and, each and every day that passed me by, I’d come, to miss you, a little bit less and less, until, I don’t EVER miss you at all now!

Inside of me, that, was where you should’ve been, back in 2008, but, because of things that’s happened, beyond MY control (and so, I’m still a god DAMN control freak here!!!), you’d not, been “made” yet.

not my art.

Inside of me, there’s that, feeling, of overwhelming sickness that slowly takes me over, when I thought about, what had happened to my childhood, I was, brutalized by them, they’d, RAPED me (not physically OR sexually, once more!!!) again, and again, and lied to me that that, was how love goes, and because I was trusting, I’d not, secondguessed or questioned them, besides, they were all, a WHOLE lot older, and I’d still needed them to survive, I was, once, so very young…

Inside of me, there was, this hollow void, that felt like someone had taken a knife, and CARVED out something vital from my body, and that emptiness, hollowness had, followed me, became, an annoying TAG-ALONG (and I HATE tag-alongs!!!), that just won’t, leave me alone!

not my sketches still.

Inside of me, there is, NOTHING, because I don’t feel a thing (and no, it’s still NOT due to my getting NUMBED out by this god damn life worth of never-ending abuse AND neglect I’d endured through either!!!), ‘cuz I’d, changed all that, turned my emotions into something higher: COGNITION!

The inside of me was, purged, completely, and now, everything’s out there, for the world to see…………