I Really Don’t Enjoy Being Anyplace That High

An immense fear of H-E-I-G-H-T-S, developed, later on in life, translated…

When I was younger, I’d often gone, with my playmates, to my younger brother’s kindergarten to play on the swings, to see who can swing to the highest. Back then, almost everyone had gotten over the bars, and yet, none of us, showed ANY fears!

And still, after I’d become a mom, I’d become, acrophobic, I don’t dare, look down in a tall building, outside the windows. The older I grew, the more serious my acrophobia became, I’d walked on the pass at Zhangjiajie, I’d not dared walked close to the outside, I’d needed to be on the insides, and I’d needed to, hold on to the mountain’s sides, in order, to move slowly onward. And, don’t even mention the sixty meters’ worth of transparent passage, everybody in our tour group, had gone to experience how it feels, to be at the top of the world, only I, stayed, guarding the gates.

not my art…

But, none these, is scarier than the “fully-nude” cable cars. One year I’d gone to the Silk Road, I’d needed to take the cable cars up the mountains, and, it’d nearly, taken my life! But, there was, this hour-long stopping point, and I’d not dared, stay all alone on my own under the mountains, and so, I’d, gotten on. As I’d sat myself, firmly down, I’d, grabbed onto my friend’s forearms, kept my eyes shut, and, I’d not opened my eyes, until we’d reached the stopping point, and, everybody, was laughing so hard at my behaviors.

I’d felt, a bit more secure, when I’d gone on those cable car rides with my husband by myself, I’d, hugged onto his thick and safe body, then, buried my head into his arms. It’s just, that I’d still not dared, let my eyes, wandered, and although he’d always told me, “Hey, it’s such a shame you’re not looking at how beautiful this place is from up here!”, but, I’d not, moved, I’d refused, to have “the world underneath my feet”.

this, is absolutely SAFE, but it surely, is scary, being that high up in the air, isn’t it???  Not  my photograph.

This, is how someone went from fearless, to completely fearful, and maybe, it’s because of age, or some other psychological traumatizing event that this woman had experienced, but, she’s now, a total acrophobic, and, it’s going to take her time, to conquer her own fears psychologically, maybe, by systematic desensitization??? As that is what is used to treat a lot of the phobias that people may have.