Written by the honorary dean of Soochow University and the former chief executive of the country, Shang-Zhen Chang, translated…
Dementia, it’s a slow and graduate process of you, losing your loved ones, like a very long goodbye. Seeing how my mother went from speaking both Mandarin and Taiwanese, to only speaking in Japanese, then, called my name aloud for the last and final time, and I had, “lost” my mother ever since. But, what do I do? As I’d gone on a business trip to China, at all of the greasy foods that are delicately cooked for the visitors for the international forums, I’d always recalled the steamed fish that my mother used to make, adding absolutely NOTHING more than just a few pieces of sliced up ginger and bamboo shoots………
Dining Gourmet Foods, Paled by Comparison to My Mother’s Steamed Fish
“Alzheimer’s is a gradual process of your loved ones leaving you, without you knowing it, like a very long and winding goodbye”. The former chief executive, Chang talked of caring and accompanying his own demented mother for over a decade’s time.
Chang is the only son of his family, and so, the responsibilities for caring for his mother was his to take. Residing in the mountain areas of Hsintien, as he’d held his office as the Chief Executive and Assistance Chief Executive, he’d NEVER once stayed at the place allotted him by the government, he’d run from Hsintien to Taipei, and from Taipei, back to Hsintien every day, because he’d wanted to be closer to his family, to just take those extra looks toward his own mother, who no longer recognized him.
Seeing how his mother lost her mobility, needing a wheelchair to get around, to being bedridden; from slowly losing her abilities to speak, in the end, she’d become, completely, mute, as well as losing her own abilities. Chang expressed how it was, a process, of slowly losing his loved ones, a constant experience of losing his own mother by the day.
At the beginning stage of his mother’s Alzheimer’s, Chang felt bad about it, and had often carried on in conversations with his mother, to see if she would get reminded of things and start remembering, but he’d realized, that it wasn’t working. Plus, his mother grew up in the Japanese ruling era, “she’d only known Japanese toward the end, and stopped speaking in Taiwanese and Chinese, there was no way I can communicate with her anymore.”
A Small Regret…Back Then, His Mother Quitted Her Job for Him
He’d talked about his mother in her eighties right now, there was that childishness glowing from his eyes. He’d recalled, that back in his teenage years, he’d hated being alone, and after school, he saw his mother wasn’t at home, and he’d started throwing his temper tantrums. “After that, my mom quit her job and became a full-time housewife.”
As he’d talked about this, Chang blamed himself somewhat, “If my mother kept her state of mind as when she was working still, and, it would keep her mind active longer, and maybe, she won’t be, demented now.”
Can’t Forget “the Very Final Time My Mom Called My Name Aloud”
In the “children’s version” of the Legislative Branch website, Chang introduced himself as, “the one who’d had the most influence on my life is my mother with a whole lot of compassion.”, he’d disclosed, that he’d still held the memories of how his mother looked so gentle, and called out his name for the very last time before she became demented, it was, unforgettable to him.
Chang said, that his mother had been demented for over ten years now. That all of this began, on one day that his mother just, fainted out of the blue, and starting from that day, his mother started forgetting more and more things. A little over five years ago, as his mother was walking up the stairs, she’d become, limp, and fell backwards, and ever since, she’d started subconsciously fearing walking around, and slowly, she could only sit in the wheelchairs afterwards, becoming bedridden, and, slowly, lost her intelligence, and started relying on the tubes for the purpose of feeding.
His Mom’s Steamed Fish, an Unforgettable Taste in His Memories
As he’d talked about a dish that left a deep impression on him. Chang said, since he was younger, he’d not liked the “grand servings” of foods from the restaurants, instead, he’d savored the ordinary dishes his mom used to make for him. The most unforgettable dish to him was, his mother’s steam fish, very refreshing, with a few pieces of ginger, some bamboo shoots, and it’d become, this healthy and delicious dish. As he’d worked in the business world, he’d gone to China on trips often, “the dishes there were always too salty and greasy,”, which made Chang recalled the steamed fish his mother used to cook.
Chang said, as he worked as a head of the government, whenever he’d gone on international forums, or whenever there were foreign government visitors here, he’d often gotten the chance to savor the “grander dishes at the restaurants”, but he’d missed his mother’s cooking that he’d remembered having as he was growing up. That, was the memory connection between him and his mother, as well as a mother’s show of love toward her own child.
So, this, is remembering his mother before she’d fallen ill, and, it’s amazing, how you can find that dish that your mother used to make for you, and savor it, to remember her, to keep the lessons she’d taught you close to your heart.