How a movie came to help this woman find the closure she was searching for, translated…
The film, “Wit”, with Emma Thompson, was based off of the soliloquy of the main character, from the day she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, backtracking through her whole life; in front of the illness, the namely professor who is very strict toward her students, became, so fearful like any of us toward the pains and sufferings of the treatment procedures, as well as the fears of death too.
As she was tortured by her cancer cells and became less than human, an elderly professor who’d taught her came to visit, she’d started crying like a young child, “Teacher, I’m feeling so awful right now!”, the tears kept rolling down her thin cheeks. “My dear child, I know, I know.” The elderly professor kissed her forehead gently, and read a story of a bunny running away from home to her. And, in the reading voice of her elderly professor, she slowly, drifted into sleep, and forgotten the pains.
As I watched this portion, I’d cried like hell, with Emma’s character uncontrollably, because I was reminded of my beloved dad. Before he passed, he was diagnosed with liver cancer, he’s too elderly, and, he was, weakened, and, we’d chosen to give up on the intrusive treatment procedures, and checked him into the terminally ill ward, and coexisted as peacefully as he could, with his own cancer. Other than him going to the bathrooms, or getting bathed, I was, right there, by his side, although he’d slept most of the times, but every time he’d opened up his eyes, he can see me playing his favorite Pekingese Opera, “Wonders of China”, and the photos of his grandkids, and I’d, whispered into his ears, about the fun times we’d had when I was a young child.
That day, he’d left, in peace, he’d not even needed the morphine the nurse had prepared. Everybody told me that I’d taken great care of my dad, but, I’d still felt, that I’d not done enough, that there’s more that I could’ve done for him, and I’d, blamed myself so.
As everybody else in the family slowly returned back to their normal routines, I just, couldn’t, get past the fact, that my dad had, passed away, until Emma Thompson’s character finally drifted off to sleep, in her professor’s reading voice, I’d found salvation for myself: turns out, that my father, had drifted off into an eternal sleep to, with my voice accompanying him.
So, this, is a difficult experience of losing one’s own parent, and, the woman was having difficulties, accepting the death of her father, through watching a film, and, that, is how sometimes, a movie can help us let go of what’s keeping us tied up and bound, and this woman finally, slowly, forgave herself, for not doing enough for her father, and she did, do enough for him, it’s just, that when someone you loved passes away, you are misled into believing, that the outcomes might be somewhat different had you done this or that, but, it isn’t so!