Things we’d done when we were young, wish we weren’t so young AND stupid here!!! Translated…
The winter sun felt warm on my body, the sausages hung from the roofs gave off that enticing aroma. As winter vacation comes, the children in the army retirement villages let their wilder sides loose, we’d all wanted to explore in the back mountains like Tarzan, and, the small village, made up of no more than twenty families are those of the retired army men.
After the votes on that day, we’d decided to head out on a field trip to the Ba-Sien Mountains, I was in charge of bring the smoked sausages——although dad told me that they won’t be ready for another fifteen days of getting baked by the sun, but, who CARES, I’d clipped off ten. And because I’d clipped off the sausages without permissions, I’d needed to find a secret spot to roast cook them. Making a fire was nothing to me, we’d broiled up our bathwater every single day.
not my photo…
Behind Uncle Wang’s chicken coups, that looks like a good place, not only was it farther off from my home, it’s also against the headwinds, the adults shouldn’t find me out. I’d skillfully, roasted the sausages with the fires I’d made, Bao only drooled on the sides, and hurried me along, “Come on, we’re heading off.”
I’d placed the roasted sausages inside the lunch boxes, I’d told Bao to get some water to put out the fires, “Nah! Just stomp it out, don’t trouble yourself.”, I’d become, hesitant, but I’d let my playful heart disregarded the dangers of starting a fire.
As the children who played so wildly outside became tired and all headed home, we saw our mothers carrying out the buckets, pulling the hoses, hovering over that burnt down chicken coup, looking fatigued. “That, was the chickens that Wang kept, to be used for his wife’s month-long recovery after birth, and now, they’re, all dead, and, she’s going to give birth in just fifteen days, how, will she have the month-long recovery afterwards?”, Mrs. Chu sighed. “Let’s all help out, just make some nutritious foods for her, her health would deteriorate if she didn’t have a good enough after-birth recovery.” Mom suggested that the neighbors took turn, cooking the foods for the month-long recovery phase after birth, and as everybody gotten into the heated discussions of how the month-long recovery after birth should be completed, they’d forgotten, to grill whoever it was that started the fires. That was the year, I was only nine years old.
not my photo…
Mom made a bowl of chicken egg and sesame oil noodle, had me bring it to Mrs. Wang, I’d felt bad about burning down the chicken coups, and, I’d volunteered, to bring all the families’ prepared recovery phase meals to her, then, I’d done the dishes, and returned the bowls back to each of the families. And maybe, it’s because of the lack of nutrition, Mrs. Wang didn’t have enough breastmilk, and, the youngest son of the Wang’s looked very famished, like a small cat, and, I’d felt even MORE remorse, and I’d run to the Wangs a lot, to buy the soy sauce, to help hang up the laundry, to make the milk formulas, to change the diapers. And, Mrs. Wang called me her little helper, and I’d always said, with my face red, and that guilt inside, “Only doing what I’m supposed to.”
Mrs. Wang had three sons one right after the next, and, being gnawed by my guilty conscience, I’d continued helping out. And, she’d taken me as her goddaughter, and, the firstborn son from the Wang’s was nicknamed as “frail chicken” by me (ahhhhhhhhhhh! The chickens all died in that fire, he’d not had a taste of it, it’s a wonder, he’s so weakened and got sick so easily, it’s all my fault), I’d loved him the most, even more so than my own younger brother, because I’d owed him too much.
Many years ago, the Wang’s son’s three-year-old daughter bugged me for a story, I’d thought about it for a bit then started, “A long, long time ago, a young girl wanted to roast up some sausages, and accidentally burned down the entire chicken coup, and all the chickens died inside, and, it’s really awful, being a child without any chicken to savor………so, children, should NOT play with fire”, I’d finally, come out with, all of the truth this time.
And so, that, is how someone gets weighed down by her guilty conscience, and, the truth is still hidden by this woman now, but, she’d carried that guilt for so very long, and, she will ALWAYS and FOREVER feel guilty over what she’d carelessly done, and this still just shows, you should NOT do anything AGAINST the better judgments of your own conscience in life.
Life, the Obstacle Course 