On caretaking of the demented elderly family members, translated…
My in-laws live in the southern regions, and my father-in-law had a car wreck that injured his brains, and he’d become more and more seriously demented, he’d relied on my mother-in-law to take care of and look after him from day to day, and, although I’d lived with my in-laws for over a decade’s time, but my father-in-law no longer recognized me, and would always ask me with his guards up, “Who are you?”, “Who are you here for?”, as for my husband, he’d lived up north because of work, so he can only be a weekend son.
And now, I can only hope, that my father-in-law can “eat” and can “walk”. My father-in-law lost almost ALL of his teeth, needed his false teeth, and it was, difficult, for him, to chew up his foods thoroughly then swallow, my mother-in-law told me, that as my father-in-law ate less and less, he’d become with less and less appetite, and so, she’d prepared more meals with smaller portions for him. But I’d realized, that my father-in-law enjoyed the assortments of cakes that my husband bought on the weekends, “today, it’s, Saturday, I don’t’ need to work, I’m coming home! Come get some cake.” “Oh, today’s Saturday, ahhhhhhh! You’re not at work?”, the dialogues just keep repeating like this. At first, I’d believed that the desserts aren’t healthy, that they’re not, nutritious enough, but seeing how my father-in-law stated, “It’s Saturday today, my son comes home! This, is yum, yummy!”, my father-in-law looked really happy and started smiling, and at the moment, I’d thought, that the foods being tasty is what’s important to him at that specific moment. Sometimes I’d wondered, how do I prepare the meals? Is the food tasting great the key, or, is nutrition more important? My husband always told me, “Just fill up his sweet tooth from time to time.” The desserts tasted sweet on the tongue, also, in his heart too. Just let my father-in-law have the advantage, of the right to have cakes to make him happy, other than his three meals a day.
Because of my father-in-law’s physical conditions, he’d become, weakened, and no longer moved around at all, plus he’d become really unsteady, walking to the door, was his limit. He’d sat in his chair long term, stared into space, toward the doors a lot. We feared that if he’d not moved, he wouldn’t get the exercises he’d needed, but, we’d also worried that if he’d opened up the front doors, he’d, wander out, and forgot the way home, so, we’d installed locks on the outside AND inside the front doors, to keep him from walking off, getting lost again. And now, on the weekends, we’d accompanied him out for walks, or head to the wholesales place to shop for groceries, and daily needs. It’s, just, simply walking, but, it took a very long time, for my husband to finally convince his own father to go, and he’d needed to lean on my husband to go too, maybe, because my husband’s sturdy arms, are my father-in-law’s most sturdy walker, something that kept his mind at ease.
photo from the papers…
Sometimes, taking care the elderly parents is like looking after the children, my husband said, “I remembered when our child learned to walk, we’d clapped for him to walk, and now, I’d needed to, praise and encourage my own demented father too, for him to walk a bit longer.” Every time I’d watched my husband with my father-in-law, helping him walk around, I’d thought to myself, that caringly staying beside the elders come to work, as an alternative kind of working medicine.
So, this just shows, how the elderly population desired and wanted their offspring’s accompaniment, as it’s every single aging elderly person’s wish, that s/he is accompanied by her/his kin all the time, and, this man had made the time, to spend with his own father, fulfilling his filial piety responsibilities.
Life, the Obstacle Course 