On parenting, translated…
“Mom, you’d had raw fish again, hadn’t you! How many time do I have to tell you, that you need to watch out for germs when you eat raw foods…………”, my youngest son nagged on and on. “Mom, the ‘Earth-Sea’ series is amazing, you need to watch it when you have the time”, my eldest son suggested, “Mom, don’t forget, I’m not coming home for supper tonight!”, my eldest daughter told.
From before, I was the one, nagging my kids, “do this, do that”, so, how come, in just a blink of an eye, the kids are the ones, giving me the reminders? Although my heart of caring about them will never change, but, some of the ways we’d related to one another, seemed to have been, altered now.
when they were younger, not my photo…
I’d sensed understanding and show of care and concern, in these barely noticeable changes. My children from the one-sided receiving of orders, turned to understand how to empathize and to give; although they’re still attached to the parents, but, in the varied aspects of life, they’re becoming, more and more independent. Independence meant that they are able to handle things, at the same time, showing cares and concerns for others around them.
Our parent-children relations went from “parent to children” and became more like friends, and I’d also, enjoyed the goodness that came of this altered way of interaction.
as they get older…the teenage years…
As I was still a young mother, I was very young, and very strong willed, and, when my kids made mistakes, I’d, grilled them right on the spot. But with the kids getting older, I’d slowly altered the ways I’d interacted with them; tried to understand from their perspectives, why they did what they did, and, understood, that it’s only normal, for children to make the mistakes, that way, they will understand the rules after they’d tested the waters. And, as parents, we shouldn’t react angrily at their mistakes, we’d needed to be more sensible, and use patience to get through to them. And maybe, for the time being, they will keep on making that same mistake again and again, discouraging the parents, but, one day, the child will change.
When our children gets older and become more and more independent in thought and behaviors, because of the alterations in the way we relate to each other, and from the way we’d communicated with one another, I’d seen my self on them, that, is the influence of my teaching my example, it’s also, the result of interactions in the family. And, in these bumping into each other moments, I’m the one, with the most to gain.
I’m truly glad, that I can be there, to watch my own children come of age, to learn alongside them, to help each other becoming better as people. And, through the big and small things in life, of how my children are showing the cares and concerns, it’d made me feel: my children are finally grown, great!
So, teaching is NOT just verbally, but by example, because children NEED to have someone they can look up to, and if you don’t set a good example for your young, then, how can you expect them to behave themselves in the various situations in life, and, this mother had realized this, from watching her own children interact with the world outside, that she’d done a wonderful job in teaching her kids the right values in life.