A Q&A, translated…
Q: Feeling Sorry and Caused the Parents to Show an Overload of Care and Concerns, How Do I Ease Their Minds?
Ms. C was from a poor family, her father is a construction worker, her mother made the crafts, they’d wanted C to become outstanding, saved up every penny, and after she’d graduated from middle school, they’d sent her to the U.S. to study. C lives with her father’s distant relatives in the U.S., but that relative had been improper with her, making her fearful to head home after school, she’d wandered the streets, until a college student who’d boarded at her uncle and aunt’s was off work, then, she’s able to head home with the individual.
Plus, the language became her barriers, she’d not made any friends, she’d become, the target of bullies: her classmates would make fun of her, throw trash at her, dumped her lunch, lift up her skirt, step on her glasses…………C couldn’t find anybody who’ll help her, and didn’t dare let her parents know about it, and so, she’d, kept it all in.
After high school, C was able to get into an Ivy League, with her bad grades, but because the tuition is really high, she’d part-timed, and, rarely had any time to hit the books, and kept wandering between the borderline of failing. And after she graduated, although she had the halo of an Ivy League, she couldn’t get a green card, and nobody wanted to hire her, and so, she could only work the odds and ends; she’d worked as a janitor in a night club, a waiter, life was hard, she’d done any and everything, save for selling her own flesh. Seeing how all of her classmates were able to find good jobs, becoming hotshots on Wall Street, she’d become more and more upset, and she’d gotten depression, and, after a suicide attempt, she’d decided to return back to Taiwan, to begin anew.
It’d taken her fifteen years to come back home, C didn’t get the welcoming greetings from her parents, instead, she’d gotten grilled by them, and so, she’d told them what had happened to her, other than feeling shocked, they felt regretful, sending her abroad.
She’d returned to Taiwan for five years now, found a good job, got married and had a child, rarely thought about what happened back in the U.S. But whenever C’s parents saw her, they’d talked about what happened, and, repeatedly told of their regrets of sending her abroad, and, if C didn’t call home to tell her parents she was okay, they would, rush over to her house, fearing that she was suicidal. She kept promising to her parents, that she’d left all the badness behind her already, that everything had passed, that she is living quite well now, but her parents just couldn’t get it, it’d caused troubles with C’s husband. What, is C to do?
A My Advice
C’s parents had too much owing, and, the day-to-day language of interactions can no longer sooth them anymore. And C can only come down hard on her parents, telling them, that this can’t continue, that if her husband couldn’t handle their zooming in, he will file for divorce, wanting them to consider things from your perspectives. See if that helps!
So, this, is all a sort of overcompensating for what they failed to realize, and now, even AS the daughter is married to a man who loved her, treated her well, the parents are now, TRAPPED in the past, during the days of their young being sexually molested by the relative, and, the parents felt guilty, for blaming their daughter for not performing well, without knowing the whole process of exactly what had happened to her, and after she’d told them, they felt owing to her, and which was why they’re still, trying to overcompensate for what they failed to realize, to notice back when she was younger. The parents are the ones with the problems, not the offspring here. And, there’s NO way of convincing the parents, that she is okay, you can only live your life as best as you can, and hopefully, that in time, your parents snap out of it!
Life, the Obstacle Course 