A Tough Elderly Man Who’d Accepted His Lifestyle in the Nursing Homes

The benefits of assisted living, translated…

My Norwegian father-in-law since he’d lost his long-time companion dog, he’d lost focus in life, other than needing a cane to help him go outdoors, he’d become, more and more demented by the day.  In the mornings, he’d become so drowsy and sleepy, and in the midnight hours, he’d gotten up and gone out for a walk, in the summers of the northern places, it’s fine, but, in the winters, the ground froze up, and he’d tripped and fallen several times outdoors, but thankfully, he was, all right.

not my photo…

My father-in-law’s new wife’s health deteriorated in recent years, she’d needed to be admitted into nursing home, and we couldn’t leave my father-in-law alone at home, and so, we’d asked for a room for him in the nursing home provided by the social welfare organizations.  At first, my father-in-law was furious, refused to sign for the okay; but he’d realized, that he’s getting older, and as the light bulb in his bathroom stopped working, he’d needed to wait for his children to come visit to help him change it, and the family lives far away, if he’d not let go of his stubbornness of thought, he’d caused the family a lot of troubles and pains, and so, he’d finally, agreed, unwillingly.

As he’d first started living in the nursing home, he’d missed his own home, and after awhile, he’d gotten used to the cares provided by the nursing homes, and, started enjoying sharing his meals and afternoon teas with people his age, to carry on in conversations with them, and there are also professionals who’d reminded him to take his meds, to show care and concerns toward him.  When he wasn’t tired, he’d sat in the living room, watch the news, flipped through the magazines, playing Sudoku, or solitaire with words, and, the residents would from time to time, urge him to play the piano, although he’d not had the playing skills he had from when he was younger, but every time he’d performed, the audiences would give him loud applauses, made him so happy, and, he’d forgotten that he’d wanted to go home.

having fun with these new friends in the nursing home, photo from online…

I’d gone to visit him with my husband regularly, and, we’d taken his favorite dessert to see him, he would see us and became really energetic, and told us, that he’d just eaten and wasn’t hungry, but, as we’d asked him several more times, he’d always agreed that he’d wanted some sweets.  And, my father-in-law started talking about his past more and more often, and once, he’d asked about his older brother all of a sudden, said he hadn’t seen him in such a long time, my husband answered carefully, that his uncle had passed many years ago, and my father-in-law made fun of himself, said that he’d recalled being there for his funeral.  And, after we’d left, he’d called up his wife, and would tell her from time to time, “There was a couple who came to see me today…”

It’s nothing scary when an elderly becomes demented, what’s fearful is if you tried escaping from the fact that it’d happened, and the refusing to cope with it.  A lot of the families in Taiwan refused to send their elders into nursing homes, fearing that they may get that “ingrate” label slapped on them, but, if the elders can get the professional cares they’d needed in the facilities, it’s actually, a win-win.

enjoying some afternoon tea with friends at a nursing home, still NOT my photo…

So, this, is breaking that belief of how if we send our elders into nursing homes, we would not be fitting as children, because the nursing homes can provide more professional cares for the elderly population, plus, there would be more opportunities to socialize with people their age, whereas if they stayed in their old home, and see how their former neighbors died off one by one, it would be, MORE depressing for them to experience, compared to living in assisted living.