The spouse of the demented elderly, on life, on still holding on to his hands as they get older by the day, translated…
After my husband had surgery for his colon cancer back in 2011, he was, originally smart, he’d become, a stranger, he couldn’t remember the phone numbers to the house, or the kids’ numbers, took his meds repeatedly, and when he couldn’t find his wallet, he’d started accusing others of stealing it from him, he’d misremembered his passcodes as he’d tried to withdraw money from his bank accounts, and complained to the clerks at the bank, became really suspicious of everything around him, causing the family to live under tension.
wandering off here, not my photograph still…
Looking after him was physically and mentally straining, and, he’d burned charcoal to commit suicide for no reasons at all, and our sons couldn’t feel safe going to work, so they’d, guarded him, and I’d, become frightened that I’d needed to see a psychiatrist, in the end, we’d taken him to the Alzheimer’s Specialty Clinics, where the doctor passed down the diagnoses of “Alzheimer’s at the Earliest Stage” and “Parkinson’s Disease”, prescribed the meds, and, given him a handicap manual too.
I’d taken eight courses in the National Family Members Caretaking Trainings and Families of Demented Elderly, read books on Alzheimer’s and dementia, I’d understood, that due to the aging population, there was, a huge increase in elderly who are demented, and that, it was, a progressive condition, the patients would have suspicions of getting abandoned, of having things stolen from them, jealous, persecutory delusions, hallucinations, attacking others, sleep disorders, repeated behaviors, delusions, assault, and improper sexual behaviors, and other possible symptoms.
After I’d learned the reasons, I’d started my husband on medication and non-medication treatments, and I’d, handed him his med by the meals for him to take. As he’d gone out in the mornings, he’d picked up the foods that other people threw away and taken them home to consume, I’d told him, that it’s not safe, to eat the foods he’d picked up from the streets, besides, we’d bought him his favorite snack, which he can have at any time he liked.
And, I’d learned, to groom him, and used my cell phones, taken shots of our lives, had him teach me his mother tongue, and, there were, two volumes of already worn out Taiwanese songs and dictionaries, I’d sung with him, and competed with him on looking up the characters in the dictionaries, doing simple addition and subtractions with him, and looked through our old photos along with the two hundred love letters we wrote to one another back when we were dating, that, was the memories we’d shared. I’d written his name onto his shirt, and although, he’d never, wandered off and strayed far; I’d allowed him to participate into my work, had him help me hang up the laundry, fold up the clothes, pulling up the weeds in the gardens, burning the wood to get the water for our baths, and, as I’d made suppers, I’d, kept him close, paid close attention to his safety.
not my photo here…
It’s been five years, and, I’d, used an assortment of ways, to stimulate his brains, to slow down his rate of deterioration, and although, my spinal surgery left me impaired physically, a seventy-year-old elderly taking care of an eighty-year-old demented elderly, all the way, it’d been difficult, and my son would offer me a helping hand every now and then. I’d carried my heart of gratitude in interacting with my husband, live in the moment, and maybe one day, he won’t recognize me: his wife who’d stuck by his side through thick and thin for forty-nine years.
So, this, is the hardships for the primary caregiver of the demented elderly, and in this case, it’s the spouse, and, this woman kept her positive attitude, and, remembered how much she’d loved her husband, which, was how she was able to, cope better with him deteriorating more and more each and every day.
Life, the Obstacle Course 