This, is where everything WAS, buried, in the blackhole of my memories, and, everything regarding to my childhood years, all the unhappiness, all the abuse AND neglect, every single thing that’s happened to me so far in life, is found, right here, in the, blackhole of my memories.
And, I too, got, SUCKED in, to this deep, dark abysmal blackhole of my own memories, and, as I tripped and fell in, I’d, encountered, a TON of inconsistencies of my own childhood life, like how those FUCKING grandparents had, physically AND sexually abused me, how my own god DAMN parents had, verbally ABUSED me too, and how fearful I got, when that little M***ER F***ER (maxed out, remember???) had, FUCKING threated to make my favorite doll disappear, or how ‘bout those times when I’d not wanted to comply with that little M***ER F***ER’s demands of playing those Mortal Combat, Street Fighter games in person (yeah, I was, FORCED to act like those characters, and FIGHT with that little FUCK too!!!), and, as I’d asked his EX-WIFE for help, she’d, tossed a simple, “JUST IGNORE your brother!!!”, well, I COULDN’T, I was just SO FUCKING scared, of how that little M***ER F***ER might have the ability, to make my THINGS disappear!
not my painting…
And, in the blackhole of my memories, all these moments got buried too deep, MORE than SIX feet underground, and, there, they’d all waited, for the time to be right, to FLOOD back up to the surfaces, and yeah, I was able to remember how those STUPID god DAMN boys in my class had made me cry, by giving me that AWFUL nickname too, and how I felt so angered, as someone in my class said, that I like that boy with whom I’d taken out the trash with at cleaning time in school………
And now, that BLACKHOLE of memories, is NO MORE, and I will NEVER, let ANYTHING that had happened, to get, SWEPT under the RUGS again that’s for sure!!!