How can you deal with a kid that you can’t reason with, I wonder??? Translated…
When the three-and-a-half year-old does something bad, the parents are using their even-tone of voice, reasoning with her/him, but the child carried an awful attitude, even started ranting, “I don’t want to talk to you”, “I hate you”, how, can we, get through to her/him?
When your toddlers became ill-mannered, sometimes, they may not be aware of the seriousness of what they were doing, I’m totally against using threats, and punishments in this specific instance, because they may have an unspoken reason for why they were behaving the way they were. The parents should use a steady gaze, tell their young, “This way of speaking is mean”, and that, is enough. We can explain how the behaviors are considered impolite, but don’t criticize the child her/himself.
This way of “slowly teaching” will make the parents feel stressed out, but it’s more effective. Because the child’s behavioral change will come from the inside of her/him, instead of from the submissions of you, threatening them to. This, is that hidden reason: a real good child must be good, out of her/him own free will. And, those “bad” children behaved badly, because they had to, after all, who wants to be a bad child?
Before we start criticizing the children, we need to give them the opportunity to change their behaviors for the better. The child didn’t mean it, that, is what you, parents must believe, and, a lot of the children, before you give them the ultimatum or the better way to behave, they will be, behaving themselves better already.
Ninety-nine percent of the time I will do my best, to not damage my own children’s prides; so, when that one-percent happens, and I’d scolded them for what they’d done wrong or bad, the children’s own prides, will be enough, to keep them from repeating the bad behaviors then.
So, this, is training your child to become autonomous, not just in actions, but also in ways of thought too, and, the expert is right in that you can’t just, scold a two, three, four year old whenever s/he does something wrong, because the rules you set for them, may still be internalized by them at the time, give them some time, to grow into the person you expect them to become, don’t hurry them, and, be kind to your young children, because, how did you feel, when your own parents started yelling and screaming at you when you’d done something wrong as a young child, huh???