A Household with Single Parent and One with Both Parents

Translated…

I once grew up in a single-parent family. Not long thereafter, my single parents remarried, and, I’d grown up, in the remarried single parents’ families.

My parents divorced when I was in the third grade. Ever since I could understand, the life I’d come to understand, was with two silent adults, who’d shown up early in the morn, and late in the evenings. Both my parents were accountants, my father works for a government unit, my mother works for a private corporation, she’d gone to work on Saturdays Sundays too. But, I can’t say, that they don’t love me. My father would always make me midnight snacks, and not matter how late it got, my mother would always come to my room, to check my homework assignments. When they were with me singly, they would smile lightly, but the moment the other person appeared, there would be, this cold front that took over their faces. And naturally, there was also, a full-time live-in nanny to take care of my daily living needs.

I’d come home from school one day when I was eight, my mother sat in the living room, saw I walked in, she’d gotten up, pulled on my hand, led me to sit down, told me, “Child, mom will be going to Hong Kong to work now, you should stay with your dad.”

I’d looked at the five huge suitcases by the door, felt this bad omen, called out to her, “Will you ever come back?”

Perhaps, my mother saw that sense of panic on my face, she’d put her arms around me, said, “Your parents are divorced, if you’re ever in Hong Kong, you can come and find me.”, and I can’t recall after I’m old enough, that my mother ever hugged me, as I was still, dizzied by her scent, she’d already risen up to walk toward the door.

Within a year’s time, my father remarried, he’d married Auntie Huei, really, she’d, married into the household. She’d quitted her job as a nanny the moment she came to us, she’d enjoyed handling the tasks of a housewife, and cooked better and better by the day. She’d loved hugging me as she talked to me, and would make the juices for me too. And, the moment my father came home, he’d started, busying around and about the house, wouldn’t let us do any of the chores, big or small. My father was on the third floor, dusting off the accumulations on that step ladder, he’d called out, “Huei-Huei, hand me another rag”, voice came from the kitchens, “I’m cooking right now, ask Ying to do it.”, and, I’d hurried from my bedroom, went into the laundry, hollered out to dad, “there are six of them, which one is it?”, “the longest one”, came from upstairs. And all of a sudden, it’d dawned on me, this, was living as a family, with all the noises and constant interchanges and communicating with one another, I passed through my teenage years in a normal family.

In my final year of high school, I’d applied for three universities in Hong Kong, to be closer to my mother. After my mother left for Hong Kong, she’d always written me an e-mail once every two months, told me to study hard, to become an independent woman. As I went to middle school, she’d told me she was, remarried.

The City University of Hong Kong had, accepted me, I got into the communications major. I’d e-mailed my mother about it, she’d replied, “we live on the avenue close to the university, you come and stay with me, I’m preparing for your bedroom right now.”, so, for my four years of college and two years of grad school, I’d lived with my mother, so, I basically, grew up, in two single parent families that became two complete families.

After I got out of the harbor in Kowloon, my mother was waiting there for me, she looked just like she had a decade ago, but unfortunately, I’d not, looked, one bit like her. There was, a tall middle-aged man right by her side, with navy blue tie, good looking, very fitting with my mother. He took my two suitcases, my mother told me, “Call him Uncle Tsai”.

There wasn’t a speck of dust inside my mother’s home, there were hired workers who’d come to clean and cook each and every single day, my bedroom was painted light purple, with the purple flowers. My mother still remembered how I liked the purple flowers. I’d, entered into another family, another status quo. My mother spoke lightly to Uncle Tsai, they were, smiling toward one another. They worked in the same bank, he was the assistant manager, and she, the department manager of the accountants. From the accent that Uncle Tsai had speaking in Cantonese, I can tell he was from Taiwan. The three of us would often head to the culture center for the concerts.

As I turned twenty-five and began my doctorate, I became an orphan. My father who’s in Macau got into a car accident, died, six months later, my mother passed away because of a stroke. They were both, just fifty-one years old, they were, enemies, so, how come, they died together? Is it because before I was born, they’d shared, this depth of a love? After Uncle Tsai handled my mother’s funeral, he’d quitted his job, returned back to Taiwan to take care of his own mother in her eighties.

The other change was, I came in, to a lot of money. In my father’s will, the house went to Auntie Huei, and, most of his fluid assets became mine, and the house my mother had in Hong Kong, along with all of her other properties, became mine also, because Uncle Tsai gave his share to me too, he was from a well-to-do family from Taiwan.

At my father’s death anniversary, I returned to Macau to offer incense to my father, then, returned home with her, she’d become hesitant, looking at me, but she’d still, said to me, “Ying, I’m about to, remarry again………don’t look at me like that. Being with your father, I’m used to having him watch over me, gotten used to living by his side, and, this year, it’d been, very hard, he is a friend of your father’s.”

It took me six months, to finally digest and accept that Auntie Huei was going to have another companion. And, Uncle Tsai flew from Taiwan, to visit my mother’s grave. Afterwards, we went to Peninsula Hotel to have a cup of coffee, I’d started, “Uncle Tsai, you’re still healthy and well, you should, consider, finding another, I won’t mind one bit”. Uncle Tsai stared at me for a while, then stated, “That’s not how love goes.”

So, these, are two people who’d lost their spouses after the remarriage, and, they’d acted very differently, after their separate spouses passed away, and that just shows, how we still have different lives, even if we’d shared, similar experience in life…