Found on UDN.com, translated, by me…
Six years ago, the author’s mother was diagnosed mildly demented. Since she’d found the abnormalities in her mother’s behaviors, missing out on the golden time for treatment, how to confirm the diagnosis, along with how to make the adaptations, to cope with dementia, and everything that dementia has to offer……using the storytelling methods, the writer shared with the readers, the tips in caring for their demented parents, and shared with the readers, how strenuous it’d become, in the caretaking process; and how it’s necessary, for the members of the family to trust and support one another continuously.
I Love You Also, and I Too, Want to Live Inside Your Mind
My son turned in a final project upon graduating from the university, with the subject matter of his maternal grandmother. He’d made a mini-movie with his grandmother as the leading lady. Although it’d only lasted a few short minutes, I was so very moved, after I watched it. From the angle of a young person, he’d made the observations: “The elderly actually doesn’t really want all that much, they’d just wanted to have some of your time, for you to, accompany them.”
photo from online…
I feel that I’m more than blessed, that I’d gained a lot from taking care of my mom, so did my husband, as well as my two children. My daughter is twenty-eight, my son, twenty-five, because we live with my mother, that, was how they were able to gain the opportunity, to get along with the elders.
As my daughter finished her foreign exchange to Sweden and arrived home, my mother thought she was a stranger, was very unfriendly toward her. My daughter felt taken, but, she’d complied with every single request her grandmother made, and worked hard, to not get on my mother’s bad side, and, whenever she’d gone abroad, she’d always, searched the duty-free shops for her grandmother’s favorite foods to bring to her. Like how she knew how much her grandmother enjoyed red beans, as she transferred through Japan, she’d bought a bag of banana cake with red bean fillings, and, gave one to her grandmother every single day, to help her grandmother stay in high spirits and start to like her more. Or, because her grandmother loved getting dolled up, my daughter would apply nail polish onto her grandmother’s fingernails, to make her happy.
not my photograph…
Oftentimes, giving more love, and all your problems seemed to, resolve themselves in an instant, after my daughter gained an understanding of dementia, she’d no longer held a grudge toward how her grandmother was treating her so awfully, what she’d done wrong, or, I’d needed to, explain myself to grandma, instead, she now uses what her grandmother enjoys, and would bring them to her, to bring the relationship closer. This was, a great way to interact with family members with dementia, allowing the demented elderly, who don’t recognize their loved ones, to gain a “new friend” from the kindness of interaction you’d shown them. This, for the younger generations, is a most valuable lesson, a very unique sort of experiences with the family.
As for my son, when his grandmother moved in with us, he was just twenty years of age. Before this time, he’d never had ANY experiences, living with the elderly, let alone, interacting with elderly with dementia. I don’t know how he’d gotten so knowledgeable with his grandmother’s condition and got along with her so very well. As for my husband and I who are still learning about Alzheimer’s, we’d learned a whole lot from him too.
My son often hugged his grandma, and said, “I love you grandma!”, then, he’d asked his grandmother, to say the same thing back to him. Then, he’d told his grandma, “I want to live inside of your heart”, and, he’d asked his grandmother, to say, “I want you, to live inside my heart too”. Day in and day out, my son would hug his grandmother, telling her, “I love you, grandma”, “Grandma, I want to live inside of your heart”. Then, he would wait for his grandmother to reciprocate what he’d stated to her back to him. The hugs they’d shared every single day, the words of love they’d exchanged, every day, my son showed the love for my mother, who’d loved us all so well, who’d raised us up. And, my husband and I, as well as my daughter all, followed his behaviors.
getting the younger generations involved with the elderly population…not my photo.
My mother is eighty-eight years old, and people from that era don’t show love that easily, imagine the level of difficulty of getting my mother to say “I love you” to us.
……
And now, as my mother became, severely demented, but at the mention of my son, her eyes would light up. The love my son had for her had, implanted, deeply, into her heart already, she had, felt it. I’m truly grateful toward this son of my who’d fulfilled his filial piety duties, his not only just my mom’s angel, but mine also.
So, this is the lesson, that a younger generation person taught his elders about dealing with dementia, and that just showed, how you’d needed to show more love, care, and concern, and be more patient, with your loved ones with dementia, after all, they are, your parents who’d raised you up, and, as they get older, they’d lost their abilities, cognitions, memories, became incapable of taking care of themselves, and that, is why you need to, look after them now………