Saying Goodbye to Old Clothes is H-A-R-D

The confessions of a couture addict, translated…

Self, Control, I’d decided, that after I retire, I will NO longer buy new clothes anymore, I’d needed to, “digest” all the clothes I already have. But, every time I’d gone strolling down the streets, I’d scanned around, my pupils dilate, “Wow, how pretty!”, I can’t wait, to try the clothes on, and, I’d, lost my figure, was barely able to, put the clothes on me, I’d looked at my reflection in the mirrors, left and right, said to myself, “the L is off, it’s, shrunk.” “Take it home, lose some weight, and, you shall, fit into it fine!”, the clerk saw I have my eye on it, started working her sales techniques, and naturally, we have, a deal! Ahhhhhhhhhh, there’s always, not enough clothes in a woman’s closets.

My clothes had busted out of my closets now, opening up my closets, if I wasn’t careful enough, then, the clothes started, sliding down like a landslide. The tall closet inside my master’s bedroom, the stuffed up space in my dressing chambers, folded, or hung, or stuffed, shoved in, there’s no differentiations of the seaons, the long or the short, the pricy or cheap, everything’s, crumpled up together now.

from the papers…

As I’d worked from before, I’d dressed as a professional woman, either dresses or long skirts. Once I’d bumped into my coworker at the running fields in a school nearby, after I’d said my hello to her, she’d introduced me to her son, “this, is auntie fairy!”, wow, then, I must eat less, so I can float up in the air! The problem is, I’d dressed myself up like an angel every single day, and, my students, they don’t notice a thing, not felt awed one bit!

Until one day, to go accordingly to a school function, I’d put on a pair of jeans to go to work, as I’d entered into the class, the whole class started rantning, everybody hollered, “Wow, teacher, you look so beautiful today!”, and, I see their big eyes, staring me down, as if they’re, looking at their favorite singer or movie star, hold it, so this, is what you kids thought of as pretty, very simple, why didn’t you all let me know that sooner!

After I’d retired, I’d either hiked up the mountains, traveled abroad, or volunteered, taken seminars, and, I’d gone the leisure way and dressed for comfort now, something that can stand the rough and tumble, and because I’m passed midlife, I’d gained weight from, just breathing air, and, all of those, pastel-colored, soft, floating clothes can, only be admired, up high; ahhhhhhhhhhhh, the youth fairy left me a long time ago, I’m already, an old lady now.

remember, this, is NOT more!!!

I’d started, sorting through my closets, and picked out all the ones that looked too expense, too out of date, too childish, and, send them off, to people who are fitting for the styles, or, donated them by the boxes to charities. But, as I’d flattened each shirt, dress, skirt out on my bed, the memories came to me: this one, I’d worn, to the graduations, stained, with my students’ tears, that suit, was selected for my thirtieth reunion, and, the one next to it, wrinkled, was fro when I dated so-and-so from way back when, I’d bought it, because I loved it so, and, it looks, pretty new to this day, I can’t, bear, to part with any of them, just, put it, all back! Oh, no, I must, live the life of subtraction, I’d needed to, put these clothes, to good use, to not let them, live on, lonely, just, keeping guard, of my closet.

I couldn’t let them all go, as I walked past another new clothes, I can’t help, but look back at them again and again, I can’t, afford to, not buy them; I’d held tight, onto my old clothes, thought, very carefully, and decided, that, I can still fit, I just, can’t manage, to rid myself of them. Buy or throw out, it’s, such, a hard decision for me. Okay, I’ll just, find a red square, with the character for “full” written in gold on it, and, tape it onto my closet doors, to warn myself daily, that my closet’s full, I can only, take out, and not, put any more in! After all, I have, too much that I want, and, all I’ll ever need, I have, enough of already!”

the aftermath of a shopping spree………

This would probably be, a hard promise that you can keep, for yourself, and chances are, you are, going to, buy MORE new clothes, even IF you’d, resolved not to, because each piece that’s keeping your closet jam-packed right now, all had “sentimental values” attached to them, and that, is why you can’t afford to, throw them out, but think about it, it’s just, clothes, and you’re, assigning, too much emotion, too many memories to them, which is why, you can’t, throw them out………