not my photograph…
Translated…
My younger sister and I are on not-speaking terms a long time now, and, the primary reasons why people don’t get along usually is from how we have a difference of opinion, insisting that one is right, or because of the words of someone else, and, my displeasure with my younger sister was from the betrayal.
Since after she graduated college, she’d started working for my husband, from starting a business together, hitting success, failing, to standing back up again, there were about, twenty years they’d spent together. My younger sister has good abilities in work, very intelligent and understanding of others, toward the outside, she could help the company stand its grounds, and toward the inside, she’d managed people very well, she’d handled everything in the workplace, she’d gotten our completely trust, mine and my husband’s.
But, six months ago, we’d accidentally found, that she’d worked with someone from outside the company, started forming her own business, and, without anybody else knowing it, she’d started, taking on the invoices of the clients, turns out, that she’d had all the assets, all the information of our company, so she could turn against us at any time, on the one hand, she’d used the resources of my husband’s company to make the models to show the clients, on the other, she was able to make a profit, without working hard for it.
not my photo still…
Afterwards, she’d left the company, and, we’d lost contact with her ever since.
What cut me the deepest was, how our ties of being sisters had since been severed off, the originally harmonious family is no longer getting along that well, id’ fallen ill for a period of time, the doctor couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong with me, but everything about me was off, heart palpitations, insomnia, sores, ringing in my ears………doctor told me it was a psychosomatoform disorder, and asked me if I’m emotionally stable? I don’t’ know when I will let go of my grudge toward my younger sister, and don’t know how to untangle that knot of emotion inside of me. I know, that every single sense of my panic, of my unsettling, of my regret, as well as my anger, all came from that fire that burned inside of me, and only through putting out that fire, can I finally, let go.
After my friend heard me told the tale, she’d said, that it’s normal, because it’s happening all around us, that so long as we’re humans, we would fall to greed, and it’s in our natures, she’d consoled me to forgive my younger sister, to treat myself kindly, so I can feel more at ease. I don’t know what the point of forgiving would be? Perhaps, just as I couldn’t forgive her, she couldn’t forgive me either. But I’d come to understand, that forgiving someone, is for the sake of oneself, and, only I can have a way, of persuading myself, to do something that’s so very hard to accomplish, like how that traveler, stuck in the muddy waters, for the sake of that distant, shiny sun, in order to get one more full breath, then, s/he can finally, work up enough courage, to lift oneself out of the mud s/he was buried by.
I’d recently started dreaming a lot, I’d dreamed of my younger sister twice, she’d always carried a bouquet of flowers to give to me both ties, without saying a word; and last night, I’d dreamed of my mother, she’d asked me, “Did you call your younger sister yet?”
So, the heart of this woman is needing to forgive her younger sister, that, is why she was having the dreams, but her mind is still unready to forgive her sister for betraying her trust, and, you can imagine, how hard it is, for this woman, to forgive her younger sister for betraying the trust of her and her husband, can you? Because when betrayal comes from someone you trusted and/or loved, it’s, even harder to forgive them for it.
Life, the Obstacle Course 