Married, to a man, with a gambling habit, a Q&A, translated…
Q: Ms. S had been married for a little over five years, before she married, she knew that her husband played mahjong often with his coworkers, and her husband always told her, that it’s just a game they played, that everybody’s skills are roughly on the same levels, plus, it’s just a set group of people that played, and the money would flow regular between them, the money wouldn’t just, disappear. Back then, S thought, he didn’t have any other bad habits, work is hard, and it was fine that he’d gone out to play once or twice every week.
not my photo…
But later on, S learned that playing a “small game to keep the rapport” is not at all, no big deal, the amount of money that went in, would make the small families weather through the hardships, and, S couldn’t see the outlook of this marriage anymore. The game her husband was involved in cost $50N.T to $300N.T.s a game, but, he’d played, four, to five games a day, and he was, tied to the game tables all day long; and if he was unlucky, he’d lose ten to twenty thousand dollars N.T. a time, and in a month, on average, he’d lost $30,000N.T.s, and every now and then, they’d upped the ante to $500N.T.s, he’d ended up, losing more.
After S married, she’d gone to the gambling ring to watch her husband play, and she’d come to her senses, that these “small games can crush a family”, she’d started consoling with her husband, hoped he could not go to these games, to spend his weekends with his family members more. But it’s been five years, her husband still couldn’t quit, S made up her mind to divorce him, and she wanted my advice.
A My Advice:
It is, truly, very difficult, to get off a gambling habit, and, the way that S’s husband played seemed to not cause him to lose big immediately, but, it’s still worrisome, because she doesn’t know how big her husband is going to play to one day. And plus, spending all the money on this sort of a bad habit, there’s no quality, or future in this marriage of hers. S’s husband seemed to be an average player, but he’d, lost big several times, as their children slowly grow up, if they’d learned that their father is a gambling man, it would be, bad. S should have her in-laws help mediate the situation, forcing him to give her $25,000N.T. a month for living, and, whether or not she divorces, this will be, an uphill battle, and S must be strong.
not my photo…
So, this small game that this loser played, doesn’t seem that big a deal, if it happens once or twice occasionally, but, this man had made it into a habit to play these games, and, each and every time, he’d lost, he’d lost, big, and when he’d won, he’d won very little, and so, the money never really, breaks even, and, his wife is having troubles, convincing him to stop gambling, and so, she’s contemplating divorce for both her own, and her young’s sakes…
Life, the Obstacle Course 