Nice to Meet You, with the Help of an Ice-Breaker

Translated…

I Kept on Trying to Figure Out a Way to Salvage My Friendships, Until One Day, I Caught a Glimpse of a Doll that My Father Got for Me………

people from various backgrounds and work, coming together…

“I think, you’re, a very cold and aloof person,”, the guy sitting next to me at the gathering said.

I grew up in a church, got involved in the church youth groups growing up, and, the gatherings usually used small games that came before the actual meetings to get the crowd going, but because my father died young, I’d felt inferior, because of how close to poverty my family was, I’d slowly, become, isolated, and every time, toward these sorts of breaking-the-ice games, I’d smiled that stiff and uncomfortable smile.

Once, everybody was singing, and passing an item around, after the song was over, as the object stopped getting passed, the one who has the item needed to tell the group of the goings-on of one’s own life, and describe a first impression s/he has, of the person on the right.

And, fate was very interesting, as the song stopped, the item that was being passed around, was in the hands of that guy who was sitting on my left.

From that day forward, I’d gotten a clue, of how I’d given off that aloofness about me for other people.  But, flipping through the photos, there were so many of them, with me, grinning, ear to ear.  Thinking back to how my temperament changed, I couldn’t help, but mention that event.

Can the Sparrow Actually Become the Phoenix

“There’s that brand new kind of mechanical pencil at the stationery shop!”

Every time I’d heard my classmates, discussing similar topics, I’d done my best, to avoid them.  After my father passed away, my mother could barely make ends meet, still in the elementary school years, the clothes on my back, everything I used and owned, were, used by someone else first.

picture from the papers…

Back then, the cliques started forming in my class, there was a group of straight-A students who got together, to discuss the academics, there was a shopping group that loved chatting up on the comic books and the stationeries; and, the most popular of all was, this upper class of girls from well-to-do families.  They were mostly, from rich families, so full of confidence, and, everybody else in the class often looked upon them with that gaze of awe and envy.

Don’t know why, one day, they’d, reached out to me, a loner, I was so totally, flattered, thought that I’d finally, become one of them.  It’s just, that as the time passes, I’d realized, more and more, that I was, wearing that mask; they didn’t have any worries, unlike how someone like me, who worried about where my next meal is going to be, I can’t, assimilate into them.

Even though, our lives were so very different, I’d still believed, that our friendships were true, so, I’d, never imagined, that one day, they would, without a warning, cast me out, pushed me, from the center of the world, to the borders of isolation.

not my picture still…

I’d thought long, and hard, about how, I was going to, salvage my friendships, until one day, I saw that doll, that my father bought for me when he was alive………

The very next day, I’d, given the doll, to the head of that small clique, stuttered, as I’d told her, “This, is my favorite doll, I want to give it to you, is there any way, you can, forgive me?”, and still, she’d, disregarded my kind gestures, just, turned around, and walked away from me.

Looking at the distancing backside of her leaving me, I’d placed that doll, back into my backpack, and started, to cry.

Ever since, I’d, returned, back to my original, life of going at it alone, became even more distanced from the rest of the crowds.  As I’d started working, I’d gotten used to it when people commented, “You looked so distant and aloof”.

here’s an ice-breaking game…

not my photo…

Being Brave to Become Oneself

Last year, in a chance encounter, I’d gotten to attend a Mother’s Day Concert, other than the procedural stuff, as we entered, everybody received a blank postcard.  The emcee told us, “write all of your names down on the postcard first, then, find five other people you don’t know and introduce yourself to them, and write some words of wish-you-well onto their postcards.”

Such a familiar opening, and, the memory of the interactions in my church group from before came back, it’s, an ice-breaker!

As the activities began, some quickly got up, and got to know others, and, there were, others like me who, just sat there, hesitant.

With more and more of the audience getting into the games, the gathering became more and more active.  At which time, I saw a girl who’s about middle school age, I was, about, to make my move, and, don’t know when, a middle-aged lady had, approached me, and started, introducing herself to me, her proactive nature had, encouraged me, I’d worked up my courage, found that middle school student I had the eyes for, and, successfully, completed, the mission, and it was like, a boost to me.

it’s always best, to have a friend with you, isn’t it???

As I was, searching for my next target, I’d bumped, into a young woman.  She’d asked, “Can I get to know you?”, she was very optimistic and passionate, and I, not at all talkative, but she’d become a “stranger” whom I’d carried on in a conversation the longest with.

After we’d written blessings for one another down, I’d walked back to my assigned seat, read what she wrote, “You are, a very personable, very easy-going girl, I hope, you can be brave to be yourself!”, I’d become, stunned somewhat, and, felt that sourness, in my nostrils.

That young girl’s down-to-earthness, her kindness had, helped me let my defenses down, and it’d made me understand, that that young girl who’d smiled so radiantly toward the camera lens, had never changed, she’d always been there, right there, deep, inside of my heart.

So, this would be, the kindness of a stranger, and how the stranger had, impacted your life, and, you’d gone through some trials in your life that’s made you feel inferior to the rest of everybody else, but, because that other girl had given you some encouragement at that church function, it’d, helped you, accept yourself, and become more and more outgoing…