Difficulties requesting the young to chip in around the house or asking them to move out, translated…
We all make choices every single day, from struggling to wake up in the morn, what we are putting on, what we’re having for breakfasts? What transportations should we take, the bus, the MRT, do we ride our motorcycles, our bikes? After dropping the kids off to school, do we take advantage of the time to shop for groceries for after work? What sort of investments do we make at work, all of these, are taxing to the mind.
After all that ranting, I’d wanted to say, that Asian parents can never be like American or European parents, after their young gets old enough, just allowing their young to become independent, to stop worrying about them, to stop giving to them. I am, a classic example, after my daughter got married and had a child, the original room they were living in together, was originally no big deal, it’d made the household come alive, but because of how lazy she gets, I took over, keeping her life orderly, everything from the tidying up of her room, helping to take care of my grandchild, I’d put myself on the frontlines.
It’s just, that after awhile, I too, get burned out, or maybe, I’d wanted, do something of my own. I’d complained to my son, he’d given me this response, “She’s married, you can ask them to move out, or ask them to shoulder their shares of the household chores, instead of just doing it all, and getting angry for having to do everything, why don’t you just tell them flat out?”, yeah, I’d always believed, that helping the younger generations more, so they can save the money they’re earning, so they’ll have an easier future, is this, a good way, I still don’t quite know it yet.
I’d not have the courage, to ask my daughter of her future plans, I’d not dared, making any requests for them, if I’d asked them to move out, I might get called a bad mom, and I don’t want that; but, if I am to put up my saved up money to help them buy their own properties, then, it would go against my rule of helping my children out in situations of emergencies. Considering the current situations, before I find a way I can cope with, I’ll just, live from day to day, put up with them, becomes, the only choice I have as of right now.
So, this mom’s having trouble, trying to get her daughter and son-in-law to take care of their own responsibilities, because she feared that it might put all of them in dissonance with each other, and, the son is right, in telling his mother, to tell her displeasures to his older sister, but the mother finds it difficult to do, and that, is how this woman is spoiled by her mother…