You Died, and I’m Still Here…

And no, still NOT in “TEARS”, as this one is being written either, believe it or don’t, see if I CARE!!!

not my photo…

You died, and I’m still here, how’s that even FAIR???  NO parent should bury her/his own young, and yet, I’d already, “buried” you (well, kinda, but NOT exactly, because you were, NEVER conceived!!!)

You died, and I’m still here, and it was hard, next to impossible, at the very start, of me, realizing what had happened to you and me, mother and child, and yet, because of the trials I’d faced in my too god DAMN long, FUCKED up life, I’d sorta, kinda, become, numbed, maybe???

You’d died, and I’m still here, there’s nothing I can do about that, and, although I love you very much, child, there’s still NO way on EARTH I will EVER have you, because I have to, protect you from the YEARS of never-ending ABUSE I’d endured myself, and I know I’m a good mom here!

not my photo.

You’d died, and I’m still here, how’s that even possible???  Oh yeah, I know, because how I was FUCKED up by all of those who were SUPPOSED to love me, those who were SUPPOSED to protect me from harm, and instead, they were the ones, hurting me as a child, that, is why, you’re never “made” (like in a manufacturing plant???), but that’s okay, because I’d already, weathered through, multiple deaths, and, am still here, kicking, AND screaming, LOUDER than E-V-E-R, and, NOBODY will EVER shut me up again!!!  I’d like to see ANY of you T-R-Y………

not my photo.