Translated…
Awhile ago, when I brought my motorcycle to the repair shop, the part-time worker told me about how his older sister and her husband was interacting, “Every time I’d heard them argue about who’s responsible for making the money to keep the household running, and just, ignored their child, I’m afraid of marriage here.” Being married, I’d told him, “No, that’s not always the case! If you two communicated things through, then it wouldn’t matter who’s paying for what.”
not my photo…
The young man sighed, “My older sister believed, that the man should pay, she’d expected my brother-in-law to pay for everything big AND small.” As my husband heard, he’d chimed in, “I’m luckier, every time I’d gone out, my wife pays!”, the young man opened up his eyes wide, asked in disbelief, “Is that true?”
I’d explained, that this has more to do with how we have different temperaments, I’d loved that rush from spending a lot of money when I go shopping, and, from before when I’d shopped for groceries, I’d often buy a TON of snacks that can’t be finished home, and gotten grilled a lot by my husband, and he’d hated standing in line, and waiting, and later on, we’d decided, to split up the tasks, for instance, when we get take outs, he’s responsible for calling in the orders, and then, he drove me to pick it up, making our relationship a “he orders, I pay”, both of us are happy.
And, after the worker heard, he gave us a thumbs up, “If only my older sister and her husband got along so well, they’d often nickeled and dimed with each other on small things like the money for the baby’s formula, or the fees for their kids’ schools, just watching them, I feel, that their lives are so hard.” “Actually, my husband is the wise one.” I’d told him secretly, “He’d given me allowances each and every month”, and it would be a-third of his paycheck too.
not my photo…
Between us, money is transparent, we both know how much each other brings in every single month. My husband knew that I love managing the money, and would take out the few thousand dollars he’d needed for himself, and hand me the remaining amount in his paycheck, so I can deposit it, and then, I’d subtracted the amount he’d given me as allowance, and told him how much I’d deposited into his account. And because everything is written in black-and-white, neither one of us would question the other, instead, we’d both wanted to save more money, during this period of economic downturn, and, watching the amount in our joint account increased, we’d felt steady and happy.
So, money would be a HUGE source of argument, if the two of you hadn’t set up a rule of thumb, like this man and this woman had, and, it’s important, to keep things separated, the best way is that if both of you are working, you should deposit a certain amount into a joint account, and keep the rest of your earnings in your separate accounts.
Life, the Obstacle Course 