She Was Attracted to Him, and Yet, is About to Register for Marriage with Her Fiancée

In need of expert advice, a Q&A, translated…

Q: I’d received a letter from Ms. Lu, it’d made me stunned after I’d read. She said, that her fiancée is two years older, and since they’d met, he’d gotten on her nerves, but he was, extremely, obedient toward her, after a little over two months since they met, he’d started discussing with her on the wedding plans. (If you don’t even like him, then, why are you even talking on the subject of marriage with him in the first place?)

and, you do see, how this can be, problematic, right???  not my photo…

Before this, after their third date, Ms. Lu met another man, K, a married man, Lu felt that they shared the same interests and were very in synch with each other, after they’d known one another for a little over a month, they’d had sex together. K had been separated from his wife for many years, is very kind to Ms. Lu, and, Lu appreciated K’s personality, and gave high remarks on him in bed too; but, Lu had not changed her wedding plans, this past January, she’d had her wedding banquet already, and two days after she wrote me, she was about to register for marriage, and she’d already, moved in with her fiancé, and her future in-laws already.

Lu told me, that if she couldn’t get my replies before she’s to register, she wouldn’t know how to choose, and is too confused about her future.

A My Advice

Actually, there’s no point in me, writing her back, I felt, that whether it be on the issues of marriage, or the affair, Lu treated it like playing house, with absolutely NO eye on the consequences, just gone on her urges, and afterwards, became overwhelmed with regrets and guilt. Lu doesn’t love her fiancée, even the sexual intercourse with him disappointed her, then, is there some specific reasons that are, driving you to, marry that man that you don’t even love? And, way before the wedding banquets, Lu was already, attracted to K, and if K really liked Lu, he could’ve proposed to her, and promised to divorce his own wife, but K didn’t do this, just told Lu afterwards, that he’d driven five hours, to her place, and hid himself from her, besides, after the banquet, K had stopped seeing her already. He’d told Lu, “Because you’re already married.” I guess, that K is more mature than Lu, and more willing to face the facts, ad now, Lu is filled with regret and missed him, it’s all her, deceiving herself.

I’m thinking, that when Lu and K were having their affairs, they were already, measuring each other up, other than being good with each other physically, whether or not K was willing to divorce his own wife was also, an issue.

So, Lu should just, keep the relationship she’d started with K to herself, and work hard, to treat the family that loved her well, her fiancées!

This would be easier said than done, because this woman felt drawn to the married man, because they’d become, compatible in the carnal sense, and, this relationship became physical after just one month after they’d met, which is why this woman is now, confused, because she knew that the man she’d married is kind to her, his family loved her too, but, her heart wants the other guy.