this, is the western…
The ins and outs of the world, translated…
Before this, I’d never imagined, that I will one day, become the mother-in-law of a foreigner. Mother’s Day of last year, Michael came home with my eldest to visit the parents, and after he’d successfully proposed, the two family who’d not met up started happily, planning the weddings here and in the U.S.
At the start of March, the two of us flew to Ohio, and, bore witness to a majestic wedding at a garden, and, although the snow came down with the light drizzle, but everybody was filled with this warmth from the inside, as we’d given our blessings to them. Seeing our daughter radiant, with that confidence and bliss, wearing that long white wedding gown, slowly, marched, toward her own happiness, as parents, we are, very happy for her. When my husband who was excited and unwilling at the same time, gave our eldest’s hand to Michael, everybody started hollering congratulations, and, my second daughter who was the translator translated the vows they’d exchanged, as she cried those moving tears too.
The in-laws’ detailed setting up, made our first meeting flow smoothly. I’d spoken in my broken English to the mother-in-law, “Here wedding you are responsible, I am responsible for Taiwan”, because the rituals are different, as a mother, I’d only made one small request: before the wedding, I’d hoped that the newlywed can bid us farewell, and offer the teas to the in-laws, because this, is the rituals of filial piety for Asians.
But because the western belief of how it would be bad luck for the bride and the groom to see one another before the ceremonies, my daughter specially ordered a tailored red Chinese dress, and in front of all our friends and families, she’d performed the rituals of saying goodbye to her parents. There was only one move that wasn’t done, because my eldest had told us before, that she’d not wanted the water to get thrown out as she left us, which meant cutting all ties with one’s own families after being married, this, was a great ideal, and naturally, I’d, agreed to.
and the eastern…
After the American wedding at the start of the month, we’d returned to Taiwan, and started settling the affairs of the homecoming banquet for our daughter. Although, six months earlier I’d started planning, but, because the newlywed are not close by, my husband flew around a lot too, so, I’d arranged everything, from the hotel where the banquet is supposed to be held, the decoration of the banquet hall, how many gift baskets, and the bride’s secretary, to smaller things like design of invitations, the gifts, the music, the seating arrangements, I’d set up, then, discussed it online with my eldest.
And on the banquet, I’d had my husband, as well as the father-in-law who’d flown in from the U.S. to speak, I knew my husband made a draft of what he would say, but he’d not let me see it, kept it, tucked away, carefully, in his suit pocket. As he’d spoken, don’t know if he’d forgotten the lines, or that he was, too moved, he’d said three times, “thanks to my wife for setting this up!” I’d not cried, when I’d gone to the States to see my daughter marry, but hearing my husband’s words, I was, very moved. My friend who were sitting said, “Wendy, you’d done well, your husband thanked you, three times!”, I’d joked with her, “After this wedding plan, I can be a wedding consultant too!” in the end, when it came time for the father-in-law to speak, being tall, but a softie on the inside, before he was able to get one word out, he’d started crying. Actually, we were both, thoughtful parents, who’d wanted our children, to have an unforgettable wedding, and, to be able to plan out my daughter’s wedding, I’m more than satisfied.
So, there’s a lot going on here, the daughter married an American, and, naturally, the rituals, the traditions are quite different compared to the Chinese’s, and, the mother wanted to keep some of the rituals that she felt meaningful, and was willing to do away with most of the rituals, and, these two individuals got married, with their loved ones’ blessings for them.
