Seeing You Off

The interactions, the lessons that, a blind mother learns alongside, and teaches to her own son, translated…

These few days had been really cold, it’d been, such a struggle, having to, wake up, and crawl out of the warmth and comforts that my bed brings, to get up. And still, as I’d entered onto the campgrounds of the “Gifted-and-Talented Math Camps” that Kuan-Kuan was going to, the warmth of the atmosphere immediately, chased ALL of my sleepiness away.

She’d stood tall, above all the other parents, surrounded the outside, later on, as the workers told them they can enter, she’d called out her son’s name, “Kuan-Kuan, Kuan-Kuan………”; and, I’m guessing that child at the awkward age of the teenage years, wouldn’t like it when his mother called out to him like that in public.

Yun-Ji stood next to her son, with both her arms, hanging on his body, listened to the instructions of the workers. Not long thereafter, the children got into a single-file line, and alighted the bus, and, all the other parents followed along, leaving, just the vacancy of the meeting place, and her, standing there.

At which time, I, who was about five meters away, slowly, moved toward her, to say hi; and, because she rarely ever made it up north, we’d made, a lunch date.

When the Symptoms Just Surfaced, They Were All Scared to Use the Medical Terms

Yun-Jr was a friend I met from work, she’d loved reading very much, very good at writing, earned numerous accolades, she’s now, currently, working as a middle school instructor.

She’d asked me how the campground was, and so, I’d described the situations we’re currently facing to her: the parents were, stopped, outside the bus, waving goodbye to their children. As for Kuan-Kuan, knowing, that his mother couldn’t see him, he’d carried his head straight ahead.

One of the things a person can no longer do after turning blind was seeing someone off. Every time she’d read the articles she’d needed to, chew on the words thoroughly; that sort of extension from the front of the face, as the person walks farther, and farther off, becoming smaller, had allowed her to imagine the scenes that’s beautiful.

Actually, they’d arrived to Taipei a day ago, the two of them enter into a marathon, the son, in the hit of the cold fronts, acted as her guide. After she’d run the entire way, Yun-Ji had not felt exhausted, but instead, she’d felt, fulfilled and emotional. They’d heard, that it was snowing in Taipei, they’d gone on the Ferris wheels, so they can have a full view of the city down below covered in snow. “My son saw so many mountains, with the snowcapped tops, he was, so very excited.” Her face flashed of that smile of satisfaction, and, every word that came from her lips became musical notes.

At which time, the waiter came over to take our order. There were, a dozen different entrées, and, we’d picked the same one.

I’d asked her, can her son accept that his mother is different than anybody else’s?

She’d nodded, with that sense of affirmation, and started talking about something that had happened before.

That year, she’d started experiencing the signs of the beginning stage of her blindness, but she’d reminded Kuan-Kuan, to not tell grandma first, so she wouldn’t worry, and being so very young, he’d learned, that his mother not being able to see is a “taboo”.

One day, she was in the bedroom, discussing the matter of her going blind, at which time, her son entered into the room, pretended he was playing with the toys, refused to leave, and so, the adults halted their discussions; her son stuttered, “Why aren’t you talking anymore?”, she’d wanted to know what her son had heard, her son answered, “I thought you guys were discussing something ‘up there’…”

“What, does ‘up there’ mean?” her son pointed to her eyes, scared to say the keywords, and used “up there” to replace her eyes; Yun-Ji felt heart aching, and, Kuan-Kuan’s emotions were, affected too, first, he’d sniffled, then, he’d started, wailing loudly, and, she’d touched her son on his face and forearms, but, his forearm was, covered with tears. Back then, he was only six years old, at the age where he’d needed the most comfort!

With the Darkness as the Backdrop, Opening Up, a Different Field of Vision

The vision slowly, deteriorated away, the two of them, face-to-face, but, there’d seemed to be, a dense fog between them; very shortly afterwards, she’d become totally blind in both eyes, can’t see a thing. She’d become, depressed, “What I’m mostly afraid of is my son’s face………”, I’d understood her sorrows, like how you’d not played the piano a long time, and your fingers would forget to keep the tempos. Or maybe, she’d wanted to, keep her son’s face, hidden, deep down in her heart, but, the heartless passing of the years will, quietly, steal away, the images she’d stored inside, and, she’d brushed shoulders with her own memories. Her words started and then, stopped, she couldn’t, say another word, she’s, all choked up now.

Yun-Jr was about 5’6, with her hair cut short, her voice, very raspy. In the past, as she’d talked about her blindness, she’d not cried, but, when the mentioning of her son came up, she’d lost it; and, I’d felt especially emotional about her situation, and, I’d, handed her a tissue quietly.

That brunch, we’d talked about a lot, listened to one another, and, took advantage of the time that each of us is talking, to eat. Yun-Jr had trained herself well eating, she used the fork and knife together, and, orderly, pushed the food from the outside, toward the center of the plate, from the top, downward, to the corner, gathered up the foods, scoop, then, placed the bites into her mouth. There was, NOTHING left on her plate, but, being a picky eater, my plate was, not as clean as hers; and, this made the waiter who’d come to collect the plates, stared at her for a while.

I was deeply in awe over her, she, can always manage, to do, everything WAY better than the rest of us.

After she became blind, she’d gotten really activated, involving herself and her son into various activities, like marathons, runway modeling, gone to the literary awards ceremonies, etc., etc., etc., she’d encouraged herself, to give her son, a totally different experiences in life.

For many years, they’d found a happy way to live. Last year, the two of them traveled to Japan, her ten-year-old son needed his mother’s company, to be able to get on a flight, and she, needed her son’s assistance to travel too, that trip, the both of them had a ton of fun. I felt, that Yun-Jr had, successfully, gotten past the trials that becoming blind had brought into her life, and managed to, create this wonderful memory with her son.

the picture from the papers here…

After we’d finished our lunch, I’d, watched her leave. Looking at her disappearing backside, I couldn’t help, but feeling more care and concerns toward Kuan-Kuan. With a blind mom, is he, more at loss, or, did he, gain more?

Yun-Jr had made her life from the backdrop of darkness and, pulled out a passage of light for her son, opened up those brand new fields of vision for her son. This, is what the seeing moms out there won’t be able to give to their children.

And so, despite how she’d become blind, this woman still worked hard, to live her life to the fullest, and, her son, being so young when his mother became blind, must’ve had his share of hardships too, but, all of that is behind them now, they have, a very bright future that they will surely share together I’m sure, and, although this woman became blind, she’d used her experiences, her life, to light up a brand new path to her son’s life, the mother is amazing here!