This, is MY M-A-N!

Replicating the interaction styles of families here, translated…

A while ago, I was watching television, I’d heard that Mayor Ke attributed the daughters and mothers-in-law not getting along well all came from the mothers-in-law’s belief of, “this man is mine!” and, this, is also, correct, a mother who’d raised her son up, and even IF the son marries, he is still her son no less; and, the daughter-in-law who’d passed through the love, and decided to tie the knot with the men, naturally sees her husband as her “other half”. And this “man” now has dual-roles to play, and, how to balance between being a husband and a son, well, it’s a very important course in life.

two ladies, ready, to F-I-G-H-T!!!

Take me for example, I’d been married to my husband for fifteen years now, we had a son together, we’d dated for two years before we wed, and, counting all the years, it surely had been, long in running, naturally, I’d believed, that my husband, is MINE; and still, even if we are not living with my in-laws, my mother-in-law’s existence is still, everywhere in our lives. Every time around the special holidays or occasions, my mother-in-law would call me up, to tell me what I’d needed to prepare, and, as my children’s testing dates approached, or that the weather is changing, she’d call me up to remind me. Sometimes, I’d gloat as I thought, I’d already, prepared the heavier clothes for my husband and on, and made them the Chinese medicines, my mother-in-law really didn’t need, to keep calling, to remind me.

But, with the longer I’m married, I’d gotten a different understanding of things, it is, very hard, to be a good and fitting daughter-in-law, most of the time, in order to not go against my mother-in-law’s wishes, even if I felt troubled, I can’t show that. For instance, my mother-in-law who lives in the countryside had a vegetable garden, and, she’d always, sent a HUGE case of it at harvest, but my husband wouldn’t necessarily like to eat them. On a certain level, him, not saying anything, having me phone up my mother-in-law to turn her down, was his show of filial piety, but, I’d gotten, on bad terms with my mother-in-law somewhat. Several times, I’d gotten fed up, and not wanted to call up my mother-in-law, to tell her stop sending the vegetables, those cases of vegetables that nobody wanted to eat anymore started, piling, sky high, but I’d feared that it would be, wasteful, and so, I’d worked hard, giving it away to the neighbors and friends.

and this, is what it would look like, in REALITY!!!

And, I can’t help, but starting to blame this man who’s been, swaying between his own mother and wife. Thankfully though, my son ate my cooking every single day, and put on the ironed shirts I’d ironed for him, seeing how hard he’d focused, on his studies, I’d felt, relaxed. Before he marries, I can finally call out, “This, is MY M-A-N!!!”

And so, this, would be, a VERY AWFUL example, of how the ways of interactions gets passed down from one generation to the next, because your husband always does what his own mother tells him to, you’d started feeling uneven, and, you have a son, and he’d taken everything that you’d told me, wore everything you’d handed to him, eaten everything you’d cooked for him, do you not see, that you’re, replicating your own experiences with your husband and mother-in-law with how you’re interacting with your own son??? Of course N-O-T, as you are on the INSIDE of things, and, when you’re a “player” (an “actor”), you have difficulties, seeing the TRUTH about what is actually, going on…