Translated…
“Instructor, what if, we feel very powerless?”
A first-year middle school boy stood in front of me, with the microphones, he’d intentionally pulled his hat down low, almost, covering his lowered eyes, and, his trembling voice made me mishear his question as, “what if we feel bored?”.
I’d just finished a lecture of one-hour-and-a-half, the sponsoring teacher encouraged the students to voice their opinions or to ask me questions, after a few short minutes, to being shy, this male student who raised his hands had, made everything clear. And still, as I’d approached this boy, to confirm the question he was asking me, I’d caught a gaze of his panic, and those tears that were, about to overflow from his eyes.
In not asking the child why he felt like so, I can only, use my own life’s experience to answer him. But, as I’d told of how I was raped as a young child, the pains I’d endured, how I was able to, find that slightest strength, to FIGHT back, I was, paying attention to the boy, and all of the classmates sitting around him, whispering.
The sponsoring instructor made the conclusions, and allowed each and every class to leave the auditorium as a group, and then, in the end, the huge auditorium had just us, and that boy, who was then, crying like hell. After we’d comforted him, he’d slowly, told us, what he’d experienced: he was bullied since he was in the elementary years, and maybe, because he was innately scared, he’d never stood up and fight for himself, and although he’d told his parents about being bullied, but the parents saw the problems as his own causing, believed, that their own child was, the “odd one out”, this made him fall into a nearly desperate state. As he’d gotten into middle school, hi classmate didn’t like him at all, and, although, there were, NO serious incidents of bullying, but the past experiences that he’d had, had caused him, to distance himself from the rest of his peers. And, he’d worked, really hard, to show, that he existed, but maybe, his methods of approach were too forceful or inappropriate, it’d made his classmates single him out even more. Just like how his parents treated their son, he’d hidden the fact, that he has Asperger’s Syndrome from them too.
As the boy was crying and telling me this, I’d acted, mostly, as a listener, and from time to time, I’d tapped, patted him on the shoulders, stroke his back. He’d told me, that he’d not known why he wanted to ask me the questions. But I knew, that all the years of pent-up emotions that this boy had, carried with him, had found an outlet.
“You know what?”, as he’d gathered his tears together, I’d opened up, “it takes, a lot of courage, to share your story in the group of students, and, although after you’d shared it, you may have to deal with the assortment of reactions from your classmates, but this, at least, WAS your choice. And, you’d wanted to, prove that you exist, wanted to use your grades, to beat out all those who’d bullied and picked on you, and although, this may not be the best measures you can take, but, so long as you’d not hurt anybody, I think, you’d done wonderfully, and most importantly………”, I’d emphasized more, “if someone did something, or said something that upset you, you must slowly, learn to, tell them how they’d made you feel. If you don’t tell them no, then, they will push you even harder, to see how far they can push you, and, you’d feel, even worse. And, when you can finally state your likes and dislikes clearly, maybe, your classmates may not like you anymore, but at least, you won’t dislike yourself. And maybe, your classmates around you, your teachers, as well as your family members, will slowly, find a way, to get along better with you.”
“Showing that you’re angry or you disliked something, doesn’t necessary make you unhappy, but, holding it all in will make you unhappy. So, when you can no longer handle it, you can do as you’d done just now, try to tell your parents, your school teachers how you feel. And, even IF you’d not gotten the response you’d expected, you must remember, that sometimes, speaking up and out serves not only the purpose of communication, it also, gives you an outlet too.”
The teacher who was assisting the process suggested that the student should get the counseling office involved, I’d suggested that we walk with him back to his class. “When you entered into the classrooms, you will, need that second courage that you’d shown me before, to deal with the outcomes of the reactions from your classmates and instructors.” We’d carried on in conversations and walked along, and, we’d both, slowed down intentionally. When we’d turned the corner, and his classroom was in sight, I’d tapped him on the shoulders gently, “Are you ready, to go in alone?”
He’d nodded, “Thank you, teacher.” Still, with that weakened and fragile voice.
I know, that this, would be a long, and hard battle that life has in store, for this young man.
And so, this, is the case of an outcast, seeking out help, because he’d become, troubled by being bullied in his classes, and with the instructors, turning a BLIND eye, and his parents thought he was way too weak, and couldn’t FIGHT for himself, this young man has his share of troubles coming, but, he was brave enough, to reach out for help, and, he will surely, get the help he needed, because now that the problems are out into the open, people can help him tackle the issues.
Life, the Obstacle Course 