Translated…
My elementary school classmate, A, after she married, because her father-in-law became ill and was bedridden, she’d quit her job without a second thought, and stayed at home, to care for him, it’d moved her in-laws, and they’d exclaimed on how rare it is, to have such a wonderful, and kind daughter-in-law in this modern day world. I’d heard A talked about how she’d not have any experiences in nursing, that she’d had her share of hardships, in taking care of her ill father-in-law, I’d felt very awful for what she experienced, and at the same time, I’m awed by her strength too.
and this, is what that looks like…
not my photograph…
My high school classmate, B, married for over thirty years, as a career woman, every year around the New Year’s, she’d had to stay at home, and worked, cooked all the meals, and served it to her husband’s far away, visiting, distant relatives, every year the same things; as the eldest daughter-in-law, she’d not had a word of complaints, just gave into her own fate, and kept working hard, she’d not dared, to visit her own mother’s home, which was very close by, it’s really, shocking to me to hear about this.
Two months ago, as the New Year’s rolled in again, all the married nurses in our hospital didn’t fight to get their breaks, instead, they’d fought, for more shifts, they’d wanted to come on the New Year holidays to work, because they were all worried, that they would have to accompany their husbands home for the holidays, that as daughters-in-law, they would naturally, have to fulfill the roles of a housemaid, and if they don’t, they would get scolded for misbehaving, or the families and relatives would start talking about them behind their backs. And, in order, to avoid the troubles, they’d much rather, take up more shifts at the hospital, that way, they would get paid for their overtime, and, can take a breath, because there would normally be less patients who check into the hospitals, and, they can also, not have to sit in the long drive home with their husbands.
and this, is EXACTLY what that looks AND feels like…
For a long time, the Taiwanese held steady, to the beliefs that the daughters-in-law needed to fulfill the roles of a good wife and loving mother, and, it would be, truly difficult, to be, a “fitting” daughter-in-law. Especially currently, most of the women are working, they’d not gotten it easy, how are they supposed to find the extra energies, to busy about the kitchens for the three meals? Oh, difficulties of a woman, especially for those who are daughters-in-law, I truly hope, that the next generations of women who came after us won’t be tied up and bound by the traditional beliefs, the daughters-in-law are also, someone else’s daughters, and, the husband’s side of the family should, love them more.
And yeah, that would be, ideal, wouldn’t it? But, it’s still, QUITE unreal, because as belief would have it, after women married their husbands (1 @ a time!!!), they’d become, the LOWEST on the status quo in their husband’s families, and so naturally, ALL the household chores, ALL the cooking, the cleaning, everything else in between, land on these ladies who are now, the daughters-in-law…
Life, the Obstacle Course 